Responsible Fatherhood In America

Congratulations to Illinois baby Bubba Ludwig. No, it’s not his birthday. In fact, Baby Bubba is only ten months old. Nevertheless, father Howard Ludwig wishes to ensure his son is well prepared for life in the big bad world. He’s just bought little Bubba his first gun license, complete with Bubba’s toothless grinning face and a squiggle representing his signature.

Not to be outdone, Grandpa Ludwig has presented Bubba with his first gun.

Illinois State Police, who authorized the permit, say it was all strictly according to the law. Apparently, there is no minimum age limit for obtaining a gun license in Illinois, which incidentally is reputed to have some of the strictest gun laws in the country.

Heaven help us all.

America – you deserved Columbine, and Red Lake, and Virginia Tech, and all the other sordid school shootings and massacres regularly occurring just so you can fantasize about your macho image and your John Wayne persona. Sadly, all the youngsters slaughtered while you pursue your putrid ideals do not deserve it, but you don’t care because you are just sick.

Howard Ludwig says baby Bubba won’t get his hands on the gun Grandpa Ludwig gave him, until he’s fourteen.

Let me see, Eric Harris was eighteen and Dylan Klebold, seventeen. Jeffrey Weisse was seventeen. Seung-Hui Cho was a mere twenty-three.

Fourteen is such a responsible age.

Howard Ludwig told the Chicago-Sun Times:

“I’m glad he was able to get his FOID card. It makes an adorable addition to his baby book.”

Mister Ludwig, forgive me for saying so, but I consider you an ass-hole.

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3 Replies to “Responsible Fatherhood In America”

  1. Since we have so many genetically impaired individuals, I think it would be the wisest thing to outlaw guns. But, since the genetically impaired make the laws, well…the rest of us can duck.

  2. I am afraid, RJ, that I must take a strongly opposing wiev with you. Mr.Ludwig not only exercised his Constitutional right, but he also made darn sure that Baby Bubba will reach the age when he is able to enslist with the U.S. Armed Forces to fight for the American freedom. No matter where it will be or how far.

    Think about it before you go shooting your mouth like this! Take, for instance, a situation where Baby Bubbas parents are gunned down by their neighbours with the superior firepower! Can you leave the baby without any adequate capabilities to response in a clear conciense? Of course not! That’s why, every baby should have an equal right under the law to protect himself and be given the best there is in the arms technology to reach the ultimate security. Nothing else will suffice!

  3. PM – problem is, you reach an age where you get too old to duck.

    Pekka – I stand humbled and corrected. Baby Bubba – take up your weapon and defend yourself, but don’t stumble over that diaper!

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