‘Led By Donkeys’ Does Great Donkey Work

Back in February Sparrow Chat highlighted the work of a small group of volunteers hellbent on exposing the lies told by British politicians about Brexit. The group call themselves ‘Led By Donkeys’, after a commonly used and highly accurate assessment of their leaders, by soldiers serving in the trenches during World War I.[1]

For a while, all seemed to go quiet after the initial burst throughout Britain of advertising hoardings given over to proving their point (see link at end of post).

They have now returned with a huge projection onto the White Cliffs of Dover, as demonstrated by the video above. On a fine night it will be clearly visible from France.

As usual YouTube draws the very worst of moronic commentators, as per this short selection, to which I’ve added my own comments in blue:

1)YES! You remainers ARE LED BY DONKEYS!  [Elizabeth Samways] 

We’re all led by donkeys, Elizabeth, they call themselves the British Parliament.

2)Treasonous sign calling for help from foreign powers to overthrow the official will of the people.  [Iris Octon]  

Methinks Iris has become confused while reading ‘Mein Kampf’.

3)Well now is the European Union butt hurt. We no longer want to play their little game so now they’re going to throw a temper tantrum. Where did the European Union Connie forget that the United Kingdom is paying the way for a lot of other countries but let’s not mention that because you know the British government is keeping the European Bank alive. [Chesterwolf the Griffin]

Now then, Master Griffin, you know your Mum’s told you not to read your news on Facebook. It’s not always accurate, you know.

4)SOS… Free the UK! [Tiago] 

Oh, yes please, Tiago, heave up the anchor and let it drift away across the Atlantic. It’s due to become the the 51st State of the Union soon anyway. Personally, I’d be glad to see the back of it altogether!

5)So they are in agreement with the Lisbon Treaty you are willing to give the EU rights over North Sea Oil, Fishing Rights, No right to Veto, they will have power over Tax Raising measures, Trident, it will be compulsory join the Euro, Armed Forces and Police to be under the jurisdiction of the EU along with the Airforce and Navy. The Financial sector in London to be relocated to Frankfurt, EU Law takes precedent over UK Law the European arrest warrant( a foreign power can come and arrest a British Subject and take them out of the country), these are just a few of the directives all to be implemented in 2020-21 some already have. Gordon Brown signed this treaty without the consent of the electorate. I’m Scottish and voted out as did many others who researched the Common Market which then morphed in to the EU. [Captain Kirk]

Oh, for fuck’s sake, beam him up, Scotty!

6)Down with the corrupt EU. [Jon Seymour] 

A bit lame, Jon. Still, keep taking the pills, lad. In a year or two you might even have learned six words.

7)UK please stay. A United Europe = Strong Europe. Just look at the three superpowers USA, Russia and China, all three big federations. We need a strong European federation. Alone we lose and together we win!!! [Bekim Krasniqi]

One lone voice, among a load of Brits, speaks wisdom, and guess what – he’s a European! Thank you, Bekim, on behalf of all those British people who aren’t dim, moronic, bastards with barely a brain cell between them and get off on fancying themselves as “right-wing,” “fascists”, or the next leader of the Tory Party – THANK YOU!

It was long ago proved that those who voted for Brexit were well and truly duped by a load of lying bastards whose sole aim was to make a fortune from Brexit. Just betting against a drop in the pound is going to make billionaires out of many. Then there’s the ‘deals’ waiting to be done by corrupt British politicians with American companies who can’t wait to get their hands on the British NHS, and other lucrative commodities.

Every economist in the UK and Europe, the Chamber of Commerce, the Bank of England, are warning of economic disaster, severe job losses, further austerity. Major companies are moving their businesses out of the UK and into Europe. At this moment people are being thrown out of work by a bunch of right-wing political loonies who care for nothing and no-one but their own self-centred greed and hubris.

The right-wing of the Tory Party has been plotting Brexit for forty years. David Cameron handed it to them on a plate, then scarpered into relative obscurity until the heat was off, before reappearing wrapped in US dollars as a consultant for Illumina, an American company based in California, and as consultant for First Data Corporation, an American company based in Atlanta, Georgia. When he’s not flying first class across the Atlantic, he’s making a few English pounds as Vice-Chair of the UK-China Fund, a new $1 billion China-U.K. private equity fund. For loose change he’s recently received an advance on his memoir from Harper Collins , of over $1,000,000.

Then, of course, there’s this guy…

Jacob Rees-Mogg. No he’s neither chief mourner for the Coop Funeral Service, nor an escapee ringmaster from Chipperfield’s Circus. He’s leader of the ERG, or European Research Group, an innocuously named contingent of ultra-right-wing British politicians bent on leading the country into the depths of the Brexit wilderness, for their own nefarious gains.

If you’re British and retain even a Higgs boson of faith that this man has your best interests at heart, consider this: he’s married to a woman whose name is Helena Anne Beatrix Wentworth Fitzwilliam de Chair.

But that’s not all. They have six children – get ready!

Peter Theodore Alphege Rees-Mogg
Mary Anne Charlotte Emma Rees-Mogg (she’s the lucky one!)
Thomas Wentworth Somerset Dunstan Rees-Mogg
Anselm Charles Fitzwilliam Rees-Mogg
Alfred Wulfric Leyson Pius Rees-Mogg
Sixtus Dominic Boniface Christopher Rees-Mogg

Alfred Wulfric Leyson Pius? God help him if he ever ends up in Liverpool’s  Notty Ash Comprehensive School for the sons and daughters of ex-dockers, stevedores, and rag and bone merchants.

But, of course, he won’t. Daddy and Mummy have pots of money. They live here…

…at Wuthering Heights…oh, no, sorry…it’s actually Gournay Court in Somerset, built in 1600. You’d think with their vast fortune they could afford something a bit more modern?

Ah, but wait…they’ve come up in the world and purchased a second home in Cowley Street, London. It’s a nice little pad, only 5,000 square feet, closer to Jacob’s work, and it only cost a little over five and a half million British pounds (that’s slightly under $7,189,000 or 6,400,000 euros).

Then, of course, there’s this..

No, it’s not the favourite entrant for the charwoman of the year competition at the local holiday camp. It’s yet another Oxbridge idiot sporting a toff-fancy name (as well as repulsive knees and man breasts!) It’s Boris de Pfeffel Johnson. Can you believe this apology for a Weight Watcher’s failure is pipped to be the next British Prime Minister?

Johnson is another stinkingly wealthy member of the right-wing Tory Party. He spends ten hours a month writing a column for the Daily Telegraph for an annual salary of 275,000 British pounds ($359,000 or 319,500 euros). That works out at 2,300 pounds ($3,000 or 2,670 euros) PER HOUR!

Johnson once described his Telegraph salary as ‘chickenfeed’. Perhaps he should consider spreading some of it around the 320,000 homeless, hungry chickens sleeping rough on Britain’s streets these days, thanks to the severe austerity measures introduced by his political party.[2]

Finally, there is the biggest clown of all…

…Nigel Farage. There’s little can be said of this man without resorting to vituperation. At best he’s a sad outsider in the political world who’s gone to great lengths to ingratiate himself with some of the most despicable characters in politics, not least the present incumbents of the US White House, Donald Trump and his shady entourage.

With the financial assistance of billionaire Aaron Banks, Farage became the face of Brexit in the lead up to the 2016 referendum. His lies, along with those of Johnson, were instrumental in swinging the vote.

“Led By Donkeys” is doing a great job of revealing the falsehoods peddled by these and other obnoxious politicians. Long may they continue. One can only hope that somewhere along a timeline that may well soon stretch to yet another twelve months of wrangling, the British people come to their senses and vociferously demand a second referendum, now that the real truth of Brexit has been revealed.

 

[1] “Exposing The Lies” Sparrow Chat, February 9th 2019

[2] “At least 320,000 homeless people in Britain, says Shelter” Guardian, November 22nd 2018

Tech Company Updates Don’t Yeh Just Love ‘Em!

Are you one of those people who can’t wait for the latest upgrade to smartphone or tablet or, God forbid, Windows 10? Do you simple love that moment when everything changes, the button icon that was there just one minute ago disappears, your folders are all in the wrong place, the three page email you were writing to Auntie Maisie turns to gobbledygook, your wi-fi no longer works and, lo and behold, there’s that loving message from Microsoft, Android, Apple, or Google, saying:

WE HOPE YOU ENJOY OUR LATEST UPGRADE TO YOUR OPERATING SYSTEM. IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS OUR TRAINED TECHNICIANS WILL SOON REMEDY THEM FOR YOU. DO BE SURE TO USE THIS LINK.”

What link?…it must be here somewhere…nope, no bloody link…typical!

Eventually, via Google search and umpteen useless ‘this is how you fix it’ websites you arrive at your operator’s HELP page and the ‘trained technician’, watching porn on his phone while you laboriously type out your list of woes, pauses just long enough to select a random set of useless instructions from a long list on his screen and pastes them into his ‘chat’ response:

    • Open registry entry B612397VW68J463AAA
    • Go to “Hardware, ACPI, SSD4, AMD, AmdTable, 0000000001.”
    • Delete “00000000001”
    • Replace with “IAMATOTALSMEGHEAD”
    • ‘X’ out of registry and wait for your screen to go a pretty shade of blue – this is known by the nerdy acronym BSOD, or to twits like you, the ‘Blue Screen Of Death’.
    • Go to your local electrical store and buy a new computer.
    • We are here to help you. Have a good day!

Take WordPress, for example. Well, actually, I’d rather not take WordPress anywhere but sadly I’m stuck with it. WordPress just loves to send you chatty little emails telling you it’s updated your website to the latest version: WP546000.2.6.3, or similar.

Thanks, guys, but why? It was fine before. It worked splendidly as version WP546000.2.6.2. Well, at least it did once I’d laboriously removed all the clutter that basically constituted what you called your update. It only took three days, and of course I had bugger-all to do with my time anyway.

Nowhere in life is the old adage, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” more systematically ignored than in the tech industry. Something in the weirdly wired brains of these ‘techies’ keeps forcing them to believe we can’t exist unless they constantly shower us with new,  half-finished, updates that bugger up our devices, while providing no assistance in putting right their continuous cock-ups.

Indeed, in order to avoid the barrage of complaints and screams for mercy from harassed phone, tablet, and computer customers, many of the tech firms are doing away with customer service entirely. Oh, for sure, you may get a totally useless list of ‘Frequently Asked Questions’ that leaves one wondering just how many morons there must be in the world demanding answers to such simplistic rubbish:

    • How do I turn on my computer?
    • How often do I have to feed my mouse?
    • Can I use my new Motorola smartphone to call my friends?
    • Do I need a key to open my laptop?
    • My new keyboard is faulty. The keys are not in alphabetical order. Can I take them out and move them into the right holes?
    • …and so on ad infinitum!

But then you realise there’s no way to actually ASK a question. So how do the morons manage to do so in the first place? Or, perhaps our morons are really the techies, themselves providing the questions as a means to frustrate us and drive us on to the next great techie idea – the forum!

“If you don’t find the answer to your problem from our page of helpful ‘Frequently Asked Questions’, don’t hesitate to visit our own, ‘Ask Your Mate If He Knows The Answer Forum,’ where you’ll find thousands of experts to assist you in solving your problem with our software.”

“Hi, my name’s George and I have a problem with the latest update of Doors 672. Can anyone help me?”

“Sorry, mate! There’re two thousand three hundred and seventy-four members on ‘ere – oops, sorry, that’s two thousand three hundred and seventy five – just joined ‘ave yer? We’re all looking for the answer too.

Ave yer tried their ‘Frequently Asked Questions’?”

“Yeh, fucking morons!”