Yer Gotta Lawf, Aven’t Yer?

If there’s one thing you cannot say about Republican presidential nominee John McCain, it’s that he’s a bundle of laughs. Let’s be honest, if this guy ever gave up politics he could don a black suit and make a fortune working at Forest Lawns.

Yet the joke he came out with today was the funniest I’ve heard in a long while.

According to McCain, he was “amazed to learn” that the Iraqi army had attacked the Shia militias in Basra. Prime minister Maliki (says J McC) took the decision and went ahead without informing the Americans!

Now that’s one hell of a punchline, Senator. Or, was it that the Americans just forgot to inform you? Presumably, all those US A10 bombers pounding the militia positions while the Iraqis engaged them, were purely coincidental?

Nice one, Johnny, but next time stick to eulogies. You were never cut out for show business.

More hilarity, this time from South Carolina, where local government officials are introducing $500 fines for beach picnickers who fail to demolish sandcastles before leaving the beach. Apparently, drunken revelers and blind beachcombers are falling over them in the dead of night and injuring themselves. A similar rule will apply to holes dug in the sand.

So once Mom and Pop have sunned themselves in beach chairs for the afternoon, and little Willy and Sarah have designed and constructed their ten room, four-turret, moat-surrounded, super-deluxe penthouse sandcastle, Pop leaps up, shouts, “Time to go home”, and jumps all over it with his size fifteen flip-flops.

Willy and Sarah, mortified, scream their heads off and hate their father for the rest of their lives.

Yep, that’ll work.

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3 Replies to “Yer Gotta Lawf, Aven’t Yer?”

  1. And I did, RJA. Larf that is.
    It is getting more than crazy. I saw most of the playgrounds here in Toronto put under concrete after the trees got taken away, along with other dangerous items like swings. To stop kids climbing them. They could get hurt. Better have them mope around in a sea of grey. That’ll teach the little varmints.
    Along with the sandcastle destruction, of course.

  2. I say fine the blind beachcombers and drunken revelers as well – if you’re gonna be a spoilsport might as well make a good job of it! 🙂

  3. WWW – I seem to remember in Britain a few years ago, many local authorities took away the concrete, not the playground, and replaced it with a type of mildly-spongy rubber, so if the kids fell there was less chance of them hurting themselves. I guess that’s too practical for America – or, too expensive to waste on kids!

    Twilight – absolutely! Much more sensible. Introduce a by-law: no beachcombing – drunk, blind, or otherwise – after sunset. They did that with British parks where I lived. The ‘parkie’ would lock the big metal gates before he went home, then we’d all clamber in over the railings and run riot.

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