Never Mind The Quantity – Save The Rich!

Hey! Are you an American? Do you know you should be ashamed of yourself? Why aren’t you out there, buy, buy, buying – as though your very life depended on it?

How dare you “look twice at things before buying”. Do you realize you’re not being as frivolous as you were?

George W Bush understands. Only today he said:

“The sooner you get an IRA check, the more likely you are to spend it.”

Well, in truth, what he really said was that “the sooner you get a check, the more likely it is the stimulus package will kick in and make a difference,” but it means the same thing.

American consumers, let’s be brutally frank, the recession is all your fault. You stopped spending, and that’s why the economy has crashed.

Are you not totally ashamed of yourselves? Don’t you realize that because of you all those nice, kindly, bankers who sold you those sub-prime mortgages, are now having to accept hand-outs of your money from the US treasury?

How can you sleep at night?

The future of the nation’s economy is in your hands, Get out there and spend. Never mind that your credit cards are maxed; never mind that there’s no food in the cupboard. Raid your granny’s piggy bank; dig into the kids’ college fund; do whatever it takes to get more greenbacks, but for God’s sake get out and spend, spend, spend!

Don’t be so bloody selfish. It’s not just you who are suffering, you know.

It’s all those nice, rich people, as well.[1]

[1] NBC Nightly – “Are Americans Shopped Out?”

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2 Replies to “Never Mind The Quantity – Save The Rich!”

  1. Consumerism as a way of life? Always advocated by the great philosopher, the Idiot Prince himself. Even after 9/11.
    Let’s step back from that,
    Is the U.S., collectively and individually, a complete psychopath?
    Purchasing tchochkas from China will solve the economic crisis that will be the worst in the history of this planet?
    Yeah, it will numb the pain for, oh, about four minutes, then what?
    How about planting some potatoes? Acquiring a few laying hens?
    XO
    WWW

  2. WWW – ah, now planting potatoes is fine for the peasants, but we have to look after those Arab gentlemen who just kindly bought up our ailing banks and financial institutions, so George W wouldn’t look any more ridiculous than he already does. To do that, we have to go ask our nice friendly bank manger, Wen Jiabao, for more handouts, and Wal-Mart puts up as collateral the consumer’s ability to buy those tchochkas from the nice Mister Wen Jiabao. So the cry goes forth to US consumers: “Get out and spend!”

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