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Moneyed Bums, Celeb Chocs, And An Earthquake

In keeping with the tone of this article there will be no images of anyone mentioned therein. I’m sick to death of seeing their smug countenances plastered everywhere.

One can’t open a news page or turn on the TV these days without being swamped by images and quotes from the most disgusting, disreputable, and repugnant members of the human race. They have nothing to their credit except a surfeit of money. They should be cast out, left to wander in a desert somewhere, or stranded on some barren island off Antarctica, where they could burn their vast hordes of cash to stay warm.

I am, of course, referring to the Musk, the Trump, the Farage, the Zuck, and other equally obnoxious individuals who force themselves onto our screens and into our newsprint because well-meaning editors and journalists believe them to be ‘newsworthy’. They’re not. Why should we have to suffer these bigotted billionaires, these toadies of Trump, or the farter Farage, the man who breaks foul wind everytime he opens his mouth?

As for Zuck? Yuck!

Take them away! I don’t want to see their sickly grinning visages hovering over my toast and yoghurt every morning.

Today I opened the Guardian to the headline that scores of people have died after a bad earthquake in Tibet. Such sad and shocking news!

What do I find immediately underneath that story? An image of the spawn of a Trump toad, Trump Jnr, who has decided to visit Greenland for a day (at whose expense, I wonder?) for no better reason than, “in a private capacity as a tourist.” Sure, there’s enough fools on this planet to believe that. About as many as believe climate change is a hoax, man never walked on the moon, 5G communication towers caused Covid, governments inject us with control chips in vaccines, and let’s not forget the neuron-deficient folk of the Flat Earth Society.

Less of a threat to us all, but in many ways equally irritating are these creatures called “celebs.” Short for ‘celebrities’, whoever invented the word needs to be taken out and whipped with a wet kipper. What do I care for these ‘non-people’ whose apparent sole aim is to make tons of money and get their overly-manicured faces leering at me over my breakfast?

Which brings me neatly to an article by Sian Cain in the Guardian today.  Ms Cain writes of two people I’ve never heard of. According to many, this has been sadly remiss of me. The two people are Tom Holland (we can safely assume he is male) and a person called Zendaya. On perusing the article it becomes obvious that Zendaya is a female person, because she is a ‘celeb’ and as such has the obligatory photo in the Guardian newspaper.

(NOTE: This is not, Zendaya, the celeb in question,  but Georgie, my friend’s spaniel bitch after a swim in the local river).

It seems that Ms Cain and I share similar views with regard to celebrities. She  tends to agree with my opinion that it’s time we stopped fawning over these artificial creatures, manufactured by Hollywood and the media generally, and treated them for what they are, mere members of the human race and certainly no better than  the rest of us, despite their fancy mansions and hordes of cash.

Apparently, the whole of social media has been awash recently with speculation that these two people have become engaged. How did I miss it, I ask myself? Now all has been revealed when Zendaya (full name: Zendaya Maree Stoermer Coleman of California) walked out onto the Golden Globe stage wearing a ring described by Ms Cain as, “the size of a Quality Street chocolate.”

Given that Ms Zendaya Maree Stoermer Coleman burst forth from her mother’s belly, the same year I celebrated my fiftieth birthday, it allows me to recollect a time when a diamond the size of a Quality Street chocolate would indeed have been quite dazzling.  Twenty-eight years later (for that is indeed the age of Ms Zendaya) the shrinkage of the average Quality Street chocolate, even discounting the not inconsiderable deterioration in taste, would probably liken the diamond on the lady’s finger to more of the “sixty quid in H. Samuel,  jewellers,” variety I paid to adorn the finger of my first wife.

Jewellery experts, however, are valuing the ring at between $100,000 and $500,000.

That sure is one hell of a tin of Quality Street. Or, it could be a lot of  homes rebuilt in Tibet.

 

2 Replies to “Moneyed Bums, Celeb Chocs, And An Earthquake”

  1. In sync in our posts today. I am laughing a whole pile at the Eejit in Chief today as several Canadian Pols mocked him. He’s a truly evil piece of shyte though making the whole California disaster worse for all those affected by his usual lying through his teeth affecting all the exhausting work and thus the safety of those brave personnel. I love the arctic suggestion.
    XO
    WWW

  2. WWW ~ apologies once again for the tardiness of my response. Covid is slow to release its grip. I think there should be a competition to name the biggest ass-crawler in the Trump government. I’m sure there’d be no shortage of named competitors. They’re all such cowards. They cannot stand up for themselves. That’s why he has surrounded himself this time with ass-crawlers. It’s the main criteria for a job in Trump’s government. Expertise, experience of the job, are unimportant. You just have to be a good ‘yes-man’.

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