If the earth was composed of motor cars, rather than countries, America would be a beat-up Model T Ford. Admittedly, there would be a few modern ‘accessories’ – a supercharged, ten-liter gas guzzling engine to assist in poisoning the planet; a global positioning system to pinpoint the areas of resource where waging war is economically viable; a well-stocked bar for George W Bush – and that not quite so modern, but equally vital asset – a leather-bound, large-print-so nothing-can-be-overlooked, copy of the Holy Bible.
Most other industrial nations would be symbolized by more up-to-date, sleeker, and people-friendlier vehicles, not necessarily environment-friendly, but certainly a cut above the overpowered, under-developed, rust-bucket that is the United States.
However, the most significant difference between them would have little to do with automobile evolution. The one piece of equipment missing from those motor cars that comprise the rest of the industrialized world, would be the part America considers most vital to the smooth running of its old Model T.
That ‘part’ is, of course, the Bible.
Nowhere among the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development – those motor cars considered most industrially and economically advanced – is there a hint of the mental-slavery devoted to this book by Model T America. While other motor cars pay lip service to the minority of their populace still loosely adhering to its tenets, the Book itself is never allowed to interfere in the smooth running of their engines.
Without a staunchly broadcast belief in the Bible, no US citizen can hope to gain access to the Model T’s workings. All of its not inconsiderable power is derived from those sworn to uphold “the Book”.
Unfortunately, the constraints imposed on its design and evolution by this book are causing it to rot away, even as it continues to voraciously gobble up those mopeds and bicycles on the planet not yet evolved to motor car status.
Unless America catches on, and chucks “the Book” out through the cavity that once was its windshield, all that will remain of the old Model T will be its supercharged, ten liter engine lying roaring in the dirt but going nowhere.
Its only remaining ability, to watch other more up-to-date, sleeker, and people-friendlier vehicles, purr smoothly past it.
Filed under: Scrapyard fodder