Let Them Eat Spam

Do you ever get the feeling Republicans are still in control of this country?

While President Obama is running his socks off trying to persuade the party that lost the election to vote for his stimulus package, members of that party are busy ensuring their wealthy constituents aren’t going to be too financially inconvenienced by it.

Oh, heck, you know what? I don’t want to write about this crap anymore. Americans deserve the politicians they elected, and almost half of America wanted the party that was impoverishing them back in power. It says a lot for the average US brain cell, now doesn’t it?

Republicans are whining that there’s too much pork in the stimulus bill. They want the part that pays off the states’ debt to be trimmed, saying it won’t create more jobs.

What total crap!

Paying off the debts owed by the states may not create new jobs, but it will certainly help keep jobs that would otherwise be lost. Is that too complicated for Republicans to understand?

Likewise, for the same reason, they want to trim social programs like healthcare and education. Well, who the hell needs them anyway? Oh, yes, I forgot. The poor need healthcare and education. But, Republicans are quite right: technically it won’t create jobs, so let’s scrub it from the stimulus package, because who cares about the poor anyway?

California state workers are on strike over job losses and short-time working. California has the biggest state deficit in America. As yet, no-one is daring to suggest it might just be down to the ineptitude of the Republican governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who seems hellbent on terminating California as an economic viability.

Well, Goddammit, we mustn’t criticize those warm-hearted, generous to a fault, Republicans, now must we? After all, aren’t they the party of God, defending the sanctity of jackets and ties in the Oval Office?

Republican Andrew Card, the Chief of Staff to George W Bush, today criticized President Obama for not wearing a jacket in the Oval Office, stating it “betrayed the sanctity of the office”.

Andrew Card’s wife once asked him, “Are you married to me, or George W Bush?”

It’s understood his answer was vague.

Meanwhile, NBC Nightly News tonight consoled us all with a neat little infomercial financed by the makers of that horrifically unhealthy ‘meat’ product, Spam.

According to anchor, Brian Williams, the American people will survive the economic crisis by switching to a Spam-based diet. Sales of this cheap, artery-clogging commodity, have spiraled during the recession and, as NBC Nightly assures, it will assist us in surviving to better times, even if we die from coronary heart disease shortly afterward.

Of course, that won’t worry the Republicans. After all, it’s one good way of getting rid of some of that pork, and you can be sure that Spam will not be the Republican cuisine of choice, this economic crisis.

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3 Replies to “Let Them Eat Spam”

  1. I agree with every word, RJ (what’s happening? lol) Republicans are supposed to be patriots to the bone – and all they’re doing is sabotaging any hope there is of stemming the tide of recession/depression/disaster which Obama is manfully trying to hold back. Patriots? They should be slung in jail for treason in my view. 🙁

    Spam, spam, spam…..remember Monty Python?

  2. I always enjoy your ‘file under’ tags, RJA.
    Spam is a marvellous idea.
    Kill off all those pesky poor in a hurry as it won’t cost anything anyway, dems bein’ without healthcare ‘n all.
    Let them drop dead under the bridges where they belong.
    shovel ’em under.

  3. Twilight“remember Monty Python?”

    Sadly, I am that old!

    WWW – I’m sure there are many in the Republican party who would welcome the opportunity to “kill off all those pesky poor”. After all, they’re not productive.

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