From ‘Woombie’ To ‘Restra2’ In Gentle Stages

Allow me to introduce you to the ‘Woombie’:

As the manufacturers of this cosy little number tell us:

“From Womb to Woombie…

…because you both deserve a better nights sleep![1]

The Woombie is a proud winner of the PTPA (Parent Tested Parent Approved), Moms Best and Creative Child Awards. We have been seen on television, in numerous popular baby magazines and are endorsed by Doctors, Doulas, Postpartom Baby Instructors, Nurses and countless moms and dads worldwide. In a nutshell, The Woombie is a great easy swaddle for babies with the Startle Reflex & who are in need of a cozy yet gentle confinement.”

“…..for babies with the Startle Reflex?”

Every normal baby has a startle reflex.[2] The Woombie is basically no more than a miniature human restraint system. There’s even a ‘Houdini’ version for that little escapologist in the family.

Now, I’m no Doctor Spock, and maybe all those “…..Doctors, Doulas, Postpartom Baby Instructors, Nurses and countless moms and dads worldwide….” will skit if I say I don’t fancy any kid of mine starting life in a restraint. Call me old-fashioned, but I could never sleep in one of those things, so why expect it to be right for baby?

On the other hand, maybe it will prepare our kids for later in life, when they may end up in one of these:

This is the ‘Restra2 Full Body Restraint System’ from PX Direct.[3]

PX Direct sell to ‘Correctional Facilities, Production Companies and the General Public’.

The Full Body Restraint System is made of heavy duty rip-stop nylon mesh fabric which allows for total air flow and helps prevent heat exhaustion.”

Not too dissimilar to the ‘Woombie’, then?

The ‘Restra2’ is available to anyone for a mere $895.00. It’s somewhat more expensive than the ‘Woombie’ but, unlike that item, it will accommodate a full-size meddling grandma, over-sexed husband, or persistently nagging wife.

I wonder if there’s a discount for quantity.

[1] “Woombie”

[2] “The Newborn Startle Reflex”

[3] “PX Direct

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5 Replies to “From ‘Woombie’ To ‘Restra2’ In Gentle Stages”

  1. Is it just me, or do the baby’s arms look like they are in the traditional “straight jacket” position?

  2. Wow. I usually have trouble sleeping in my “mummy” sleeping bag the first night when I go camping–I can’t imagine shoe-horn-ing a baby into something like this.

  3. And I thought I might get a load of irate female readers telling me I knew nothing about having babies, and how content they were to be bound up like an Egyptian mummy.

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