All For The Want Of A Child’s Handkerchief

Regular readers of Sparrow Chat may have been perplexed of late by the lack of posts. It’s the holiday season in America, and that means it’s also the season of viruses. When Sparrow Chat’s files succumbed recently to a digitized type of germ, so did its only contributor – though, to the more conventional form of the microbe.

One major drawback to School Bus 13 is that it’s packed with little germbags. At this time of year, most of the kids are sniffing. Moms today seem disinclined to provide their offspring with any means to wipe their noses, so the early morning bus stop reveals a vista of small urchins, hands a’pocket, and snotty green growths hanging precariously from their nostrils.

The family Roberts is no exception. Excluding, possibly Cordell Roberts, the older boys are not terribly interested in Oakley Canton or any other female student riding the bus, but they still make an effort with their appearance, presumably hoping a real dazzler may one day board and provide them with another interest in life besides beating each other up. Consequently, though sleeve cuffs bear witness to the method of cleansing, older noses are relatively snot free.

The younger family Roberts’ boys, Azariah and Izaiah, are not so particular. Azariah is prone to temper tantrums and anger management problems, both of which can prove particularly infecting of the rest of us whenever he has a cold virus – a permanent affliction, it seems, at this time of year.

Only a couple of weeks back, Cordell Roberts stole a piece of candy from Azariah, whereupon, unable to control his rage at such brotherly intrusion, the first-grader leapt from his seat and rushed up the aisle, red-faced, spouting tears and green pus from every facial orifice – or, so it seemed.

Finally, arriving alongside the driver’s chair and finding himself with nowhere else to go, he bent low at the knees before launching himself upright and emitting a roar of fury that would have done credit to an African lion who’d just discovered a hyena had run off with his antelope sandwiches. The effect of this vocal contortion was to spray enormous quantities of Azariah’s bodily excretions all over the bus dashboard and control knobs.

It all resulted in Azariah being ‘written up’ for leaving his seat, Cordell – for pinching candy, the driver coughing and sneezing for the next fortnight, and, as a consequence, a serious lack of posts on Sparrow Chat.

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6 Replies to “All For The Want Of A Child’s Handkerchief”

  1. What a war zone you work in, RJA. I am particularly adverse to these little germbags (and I include my own children and grandchildren in this categorization).
    I don’t do any virus well, I despise being sick and will probably end up a la Michael Jackson wearing a mask and refusing to touch anything a la Howard Hughes.
    GET WELL soon and wear gloves.

  2. I can sympathise, RJ – on both counts.
    I had a computer virus/trojan last week, cost me a bomb to get it removed. And now I’ve got a heavy cold – and I don’t go anywhere near a school bus!

    Your graphic descriptions of the green stuff did nothing to lighten my mood..;-)I’ve had to sleep on the sofa for the last two nights in the hope of stemming the tide of infection.

    Do you find that American germs are more virulent to us Brits than the Engish variety? I do! Getting their own back for the Revolutionary War no doubt. 🙂

  3. WWW – I’m thinking gloves and an oxygen mask – at least it would scare the little horrors to death!

    Jo – thank you so much.

    Twilight – surely your antivirus software should have swiftly dealt with the trojan?

    Yes, yes, yes! American viruses are HORRIBLE. Much, much, worse than their British counterparts. The ‘experts’ say all viruses are much the same these days, given so many air travelers. They’re wrong! I’ve never been sick so often, or felt so ill because of it, as since I came over here.
    Incidentally, I find mosquito bites are similarly worse. Every bite produces a large red wheal – often an inch or two in diameter – which lasts for weeks and itches abominably. Ugh!

  4. RJ – Re the virus/trojan – Yes my antivirus software warned me but said it couldn’t remove it. After much trial and error the remote techy guy eventually realised that the trojan had attached itself to my anti-spyware, which was Pareto Logic(now replaced). When he thought he’d removed the problem, and left us, it repeatedly came back again! So we recalled him and he had to dig deeper.

    It was a phishing-like exercise, which had attached a fake page in my on-line banking site, to obtain my banking data, ID number, passwords, security numbers etc.) Dangerous!

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