In the last post I asked, can Theresa May make it three disasters in a row, but like most Brits I hardly expected the U.K. election to be quite such an unholy cock-up for her personally. Still, a disaster for Theresa May has to be a victory for the nation as a whole.
It’s fun to watch the Tory parliamentary rats scurrying around desperately endeavoring to plug holes in the fabric of their morale:
From Theresa May:
“That’s what I’ve been doing today, putting together a cabinet that reflects the wealth of talent and experience across the Conservative party”. 
Presumably, then, the cabinet prior to the election was lacking in “a wealth of talent and experience?” Now, who chose that lot? Oh, yes, it was Theresa May.
Meanwhile, David Davis, the “Minister for Leaving The E.U.” (now there’s a job with no long term prospects) was in damage control:
Brexit Secretary David Davis predicted some parts of the Tory manifesto would now have to be “pruned”.
“We have been given an instruction by the British people,” he told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme.
This follows the calling of a crisis meeting by the ‘1922 Committee’ of Tory back bench MPs, demanding to know from Theresa May just what, if anything, she intends to do to salvage the sinking ship.
I think the instruction from the British people, Mister Davis, demands more than simply ‘pruning’ one’s manifesto. Perhaps a direct request to the prime minister to pack her bags and…well, we’ll not use that phrase here…
Yet another Tory rat, Graham Brady, who chairs the 1922 Committee, told the BBC:
…there was “zero appetite” among the public for another election.
Wrong again! If he’d been speaking the truth he’d have said there’s zero appetite among Tory MPs for another election. How can he possibly know the ‘appetite’ of the nation. Personally, I’d love another general election. It would boot May & Co into touch once and for all.
As though to compound her catalogue of errors, Theresa May has just dragged Michael Gove out of his rat hole to be her new environment secretary. Yes, that’s the same man who as education secretary (2010-2014) tried to take climate change off the geography curriculum, and approved licences for three ‘creationist’ schools in the U.K.. Of course, the wealthy ‘gentlemen-farmers’ of England will love Gove. He’ll look after their interests, which have nothing to do with protecting the environment but much to do with protecting the grouse moors.
Through all this Theresa May is spinning her hopes of survival on a pact with the Democratic Unionist Party of Northern Ireland. They hold ten seats in Westminster, and an alliance would give May a majority by just two. To even suggest such an alliance is not only desperation, but a rebuke to the other political parties in the Province.
Whenever there’s a confrontation between Irish nationalists and unionists, it falls to the governments of the U.K. and Eire to intervene and mediate. By even approaching the DUP, May is displaying a bias that could wreck any future mediation attempts. It’s not just an act of political irresponsibility, it’s one that puts her own selfish interests before those of her country.
Meanwhile, the conspiracies rise up and refute their existence. Clown rat Boris Johnson gears up to take command of the Tory ship should a mutinous crew eject the captain from the bridge. “No, no,” cries Johnson, (methinks a little too earnestly), “I urge all Tories to support Theresa May.” It’s the classic cut and thrust of Tory politics – urge support for the leader while keeping the knife just out of sight, ready to stab her in the back. Remember Margaret Thatcher? And then, of course, there’s Boris Johnson himself, neatly skewered between the shoulder blades by his ‘buddy’, Michael Gove, after David Cameron jumped ship.
And why should the U.K. not have Johnson as their prime minister? Don’t they just deserve him? After all, when they leave the E.U., America will be their major business partner. There could be a Clown Rat in charge on both sides of the Atlantic.
[1[ “Theresa May: ‘Cabinet that reflects wealth of talent'” BBC, June 11th 2017