A Head Full Of Pizza Dough

For some, the problem of writer’s block may be down to a lack of ideas, an empty head refusing to materialize any pertinent thought that can be caught, held, worked, and finally displayed, like pizza dough transformed from a lifeless mound to a gloriously shaped pastry tray resplendent with glorious topping and ready for the oven.

With me, the opposite is the problem: a head so stuffed with pizza doughs that trying to untangle the sticky goo of ideas, all intertwined and refusing to separate, leaves me jumping from one to the other, unable to settle to any, and finally hurling the keyboard at the wall in disgust at my own limitations.

Ah, well, as Gene Fowler once said, “Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead.”

Here’s part of my problem: America makes me uncomfortable. For a writer, it’s an exciting, often exhilarating, place to live. There’s always much going on in this country – far more than in Britain, or other nations of Europe – but a great deal of that “going-on” is decidedly undesirable.

I’m sure many Americans hoped that once Obama was president the country would settle down and become less frenetic. Eight years of George W Bush left normally sane individuals wondering if they weren’t slowly tipping over the precipice into a bottomless void of madness.

Obama, by comparison with his predecessor, is so calm and sane, unruffled and intelligent, that one almost expected a mighty sigh of relief to stir the branches of trees from Florida to Alaska, as Americans settled back into their armchairs, reached for a favorite tipple, and thanked God the bad times were finally over.

Of course, there were certain minor difficulties thoughtfully bequeathed by the previous incumbent – two wars, an economy past the brink of collapse, terrorism on the rise around the world – but those would all be dealt with in time, and most important was the knowledge that we could all finally relax and enjoy our lives once more.

Then, the asylum doors burst asunder and CPAC^[1] spewed forth to haunt our very souls. Like some ghastly, recurring, nightmare the monsters of the GOP we thought had gone forever were suddenly exposing themselves, in all their demented ghoulishness, upon our TV and computer screens.

It could only happen in America.

There they were, once again pouring forth the same old foetid poison that’s been dragging this country back to the dark ages since time immemorial:

Limbaugh:

Ronald Reagan used to speak of a shining city on a hill. Barack Obama portrays America as a soup kitchen in some dark night in a corner of America that’s very obscure.”

Coulter:

Obama has the entire media, the European Union, and Oprah on his side. A poll in Germany said 80% of Germans liked Obama over McCain and we all know how infallible Germans are at picking leaders.”

Bolton:

The fact is on foreign policy I don’t think President Obama thinks it’s a priority. He said during the campaign he thought Iran was a tiny threat. Tiny, tiny depending on how many nuclear weapons they are ultimately able to deliver on target. Its, uh, its tiny compared to the Soviet Union, but is the loss of one American city, pick one at random – Chicago! – [thunderous applause and laughter] is that a tiny threat?”

Joe the Plumber:

Uh…ummmm?”

Instead of retiring to ‘a soup kitchen in some dark night in a corner of America that’s very obscure’ and licking their wounds, realizing they’re mortally wounded and dragging themselves away to die unceremoniously in the gutter, the GOP not only continues to display an arrogance for which it’s long been infamous, but attempts to intensify the party’s swaggering pomposity by roping in a second-rate talk radio has-been, and an unlicensed nobody of a tradesman, for support.

So egotistical are these people that they are totally unaware how sad and bitter this makes them look.

Were they a political party in Britain, or any other nation of western Europe, one could rely on their demise being relatively permanent. Sure, they might manage to garner nine or ten percent in any election held during a time of extreme crisis, for it is such moments that cause the crazed and insane to vote for nationalistic idols, but as a mainstream political party their allegiance with the religious nut machine, and grovelling affiliation to the corporate masters, would ensure a ‘Des-Res’ in the political wilderness for the foreseeable……

Unfortunately, this is America. To quote from another of Ann Coulter’s quips this CPAC:

If Obama thinks the people really want change, wait till 2012.”

Just once, she might be right.

And that’s why America makes me uncomfortable.

Pizza, anyone?

^{[1] “Conservative Political Action Conference Website” February 26th 2009}

Filed under: Zombies of the GOP