Question: How Many Total Prats Can You Get In A Government?

“Is it a gun?”

How do we manage to get such total prats into our governments. I’m referring in this instance to the pathetic character, Michael Fallon, who landed himself the job of Defence Secretary to the British government, despite his only qualification being a Master of Arts degree from a Scottish university, after reading Classics and Ancient History.

The BBC reported today:

A British warship and three RAF Typhoons will keep “a close eye” on a Russian aircraft carrier and other ships as they sail past the UK.
The carrier Admiral Kuznetsov and other Russian ships are passing through the English Channel on their way back to Russia from Syria.
A Royal Navy Type 23 frigate, HMS St Albans, was dispatched to meet it as it neared British waters.
The Ministry of Defence said the ships would be “escorted all the way”.
Defence Secretary Michael Fallon said: “We will keep a close eye on the Admiral Kuznetsov as it skulks back to Russia; a ship of shame whose mission has only extended the suffering of the Syrian people.
“We are man-marking these vessels every step of the way around the UK as part of our steadfast commitment to keep Britain safe.”

I’m sorry, I must have been somewhere else at the time. I never heard the declaration of war. Apparently Mister Fallon did, otherwise why would he have a Royal Navy frigate ‘escorting’ the Russian aircraft carrier. It’s rather a puny force if he wants to ‘keep Britain safe’, given that the carrier is also escorted by the Pyotr Velikiy, a nuclear-powered Kirov-class battlecruiser.

It was only last October these same Russian ships passed through the English Channel (an international waterway) on their way to the Eastern Mediterranean. Fallon stated then: “…the UK would “be watching as part of our steadfast commitment to keep Britain safe”. [2]

He does have a penchant for repeating himself.

And what’s with all the, “…ship of shame…” and “…as it skulks back to Russia?” It doesn’t look to be either ashamed or skulking in this picture:

What utter drivel these politicians spout. Who do they think they’re fooling? Their ‘steadfast commitment to keep Britain safe’ entails sending out a puny frigate against an aircraft carrier and a battlecruiser. I bet the Russian sailors are laughing their socks off.

A Navy spokesman said the British craft were deployed to “provide reassurance to the nations which border the North Sea and English Channel”.
He added: “Remaining at a respectful distance, but keeping the Russian warships clearly visible, Royal Navy sailors keep watch on every movement through their binoculars and use state-of-the-art radars to track the course and speed of the ships as they pass close to the UK.”

Thank God for the Royal Navy! The good folks of France, Holland, Belgium, Germany, and Sweden will sleep safe in their beds knowing those nasty Russians can’t pillage and rape them all.

As for keeping “…watch on every movement through their binoculars and using state-of-the-art radars to track the course and speed of the ships as they pass close to the UK…” the bloody channel’s only twenty-five miles wide. A blind man and his guide dog could track them going by! What do they think these fiendish Russians are going to do, anyway? Invade Bournemouth? Blow up the pier?

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Oh, please, Mister Russian sailor, please blow it up. Oh, PLEASE!

Darn! They’ve sailed right past the thing.

Hands up all those who think Michael Fallon is a TOTAL PRAT!

[1] “UK warship escorts Russian carrier in English Channel” BBC, January 25th 2017

[2] “Russian warships pass through English Channel” BBC, October 21st 2016