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Monet Couldn’t Hit A Barn Door At Ten Paces, Either

One of the less likely consequences of Barack Obama’s ascendance to the presidency has been a sharp rise in gun sales.[1]

There’s no suggestion that irate Republicans are out to shoot him, it’s simply that the weirdly warped gun lobby has somehow concocted the idea that firearms will be going up in value with Obama in the White House.

According to a Mister Frank Meeker, who’s 58 years old and owns twelve guns (how can he fire them all at once? He’s only got ten trigger fingers. Perhaps he’s very adroit with his toes?) firearms will be rising sharply in value, as it’s expected an Obama administration will be raising the tax on guns and ammunition.

Never mind, Frank. Diversify. Lots of people, some with no trigger fingers at all, have become very good at painting with their toes.

One day your watercolor of the Colt 39AC/42D(240 shot dum-dum automatic) may be worth more than the real thing.

[1] “Gun Shops See Sales Boom After Obama Election Victory”, KKTV.Com, November 7th 2008

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Dog-ged Journalism

There’s a serious recession looming for most countries on the planet. Major auto manufacturers in the US are on the verge of bankruptcy, possibly with the loss of tens of thousands of jobs. The IMF has said Britain’s economy is in such dreadful shape it is likely to suffer more than other European nations from the encroaching world recession. In the Congo a potential genocide seems likely on a scale of Rwanda in the 1990’s. To top it all, China is raising a finger to western nations over global warming, with the response: “You caused it, you fix it.”

All of this is irrelevant. The US media is preoccupied with even more important matters. The issue is of such vital international importance even a Russian nuclear missile attack on Washington would take second place.

It’s a matter still to be resolved. The future of the country depends on finding an answer. All over the United States media reporters are poised, all desperate to be first with the scoop to end all scoops.

There is a question on everyone’s lips; a conundrum as yet unanswerable:

What kind of puppy will the Obama family choose to take with them to the White House?

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The Scapegoaters Versus The Bashers

The election’s finally over, and now we’re into that good old American tradition of scapegoating and minority-bashing; in fact, anything that shifts blame, cuts through embarrassment, and makes us feel more comfortable at the expense of someone else.

The two prime targets right now are Sarah Palin and Ralph Nader.

Most will have read of all the dreadful things done and said by Palin while the poor, innocent, Republican campaign management stood by, impotent. Much debate buzzes throughout the blogs and media as to the truth, or otherwise, of these allegations. Presumably, it depends on one’s view of Palin as to whether it is she, or McCain’s campaign team, who were the guilty parties. John McCain, himself, appears to have retired into one of his seven mansions and is saying very little. Perhaps, because he’s still too busy crying into his cocoa.

Given the manner in which McCain’s team managed the Republican campaign throughout, and having noted how vociferously and condescendingly Sarah Palin lied to denounce Barack Obama at every opportunity, it’s fairly obvious to all but the most tunnel-visioned Republican faithful that each is responsible for one third of the blame, when it comes to apportioning the poisoned pie of failure. The other third must go to the Republican presidential nominee, if only for using the the phrase, “my friends,” at least a million times too frequently.

Less obvious is the reason for attacking Ralph Nader.

Fox News appears to have taken the lead in this department, with Shepard Smith expressing a high degree of 2nd-grade schoolboy temper tantrum during an interview with Nader.

Apparently, the independent candidate spoke to a radio station recently, and said:

To put it very simply, he is our first African-American president; or he will be. And we wish him well. But his choice, basically, is whether he’s going to be Uncle Sam for the people of this country, or Uncle Tom for the giant corporations.”

Shepard Smith and Fox News, never slow to whip up public hatred and contention among the moronic masses, immediately leapt to Barack Obama’s defense at what they decided, in their infinite stupidity, was a racial slur against him.

Fox News viewers, keen to advertise to the world their zombie mentalities and non-existent education, immediately assaulted the ‘comments’ sections of blogs and newspapers nationwide in a vitriolic denouncement of Ralph Nader as ‘rascist’ and ‘anarchist’ – among other, less printable, adjectives. Even Smith was quick to use the term ‘spoiler’, when describing Nader’s bid for the presidency in 2004.

Of course, regular Fox News viewers with their short attention spans will have already forgotten how their media heroes spent the last twelve months describing Obama as ‘terrorist’, ‘Muslim’, and adorning him with a whole host of other false and accusatory decorations.

For Americans, with few exceptions, Ralph Nader is a spoiler. Because the elections in this country are treated as a mammoth ballgame, two teams battling it out while their fans yell and scream and cast aspersions at the opposing side, Ralph Nader is viewed as the hooligan who rushes onto the pitch two minutes before the end and stabs the referee. He ‘spoils’ the climax of the game.

US politics are controlled in such a way that it’s almost impossible for one party to gain sufficient control of Congress and achieve anything worthwhile. Even following Obama’s ‘landslide’ victory, the Democrats have failed to win enough seats to prevent a filibuster.

Imagine, for a moment, a third party with no corporate affiliations winning a dozen or so seats in Congress. Neither Republicans nor Democrats could govern without allying to the minor party, which in turn could exercise immense power by pushing for policies beneficial to the American people.

Of course, it would ruin the ballgame.

Ralph Nader was right to express doubts about Obama’s allegiance. After all, much of his campaign was financed by the corporate giants. Nader is an intelligent man who made the mistake of assuming he was talking to educated people when he used the comparative terms ‘Uncle Sam’ and ‘Uncle Tom’.

He was wrong. Some of those listening worked for Fox News.

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