BLOG POSTS

I’ve never been a fan of Scottie dogs, or Scottish terriers as they’re known in America. In fact, I wasn’t the least surprised to see George W Bush trotting along with one under his arm soon after he first moved into the White House. I’ve always considered it’s possible to ascertain the character of a person by their dog, and George W Bush served to cement that belief. “Barney” was the epitome of a George W Bush pooch.

Scotties are short on temper, not very intelligent, prone to snap without warning, and given to an excess of flatulence. And if that doesn’t describe George W Bush, then I don’t know what does.

There’s something strangely worrying about a man who walks around with a living hearthrug under one arm. It’s not terribly manly. One would condone such behavior from the late Barbara Cartland, or even Noel Coward, but one doesn’t expect the leader of the free world to step out of an aeroplane sporting something resembling a large black rat draped from the sleeve of his Armani suit.

On the other hand, the need of many US males to be seen in the company of huge and aggressive Rottweilers, Bull Mastiffs, or oversize German Shepherds, is equally alarming. Not so much because of the nature of these canines, but from the very public displays of insecurity by the owners, who obviously find it too frightening to venture out of the house without them.

Reuters TV White House correspondent Jon Decker was yesterday either very brave, or more likely, rather stupid.^[1] No-one in their right mind bends down to pet a strange Scottish terrier. Once, after just commencing service as an animal welfare inspector for the British RSPCA, I too made that mistake. An aging female veterinarian who worked at the local animal hospital owned a “Scottie” called Marmaduke. Young, and eager to please, I reached down to pat its head in passing, only to receive a similarly gashed finger. The dog’s owner exhibited no sympathy whatever. (see “Even Little Sparrows” in the sidebar).

Hardly surprising then that Laura Bush’s only comment on her dog’s misbehavior yesterday was to say, “”I think it was his way of saying he was done with the paparazzi.”

^{[1] “President’s Pooch Bites Reporter During Walk” KCAL-9, November 7th 2008}

Filed under: Canine moods

One of the less likely consequences of Barack Obama’s ascendance to the presidency has been a sharp rise in gun sales.^[1]

There’s no suggestion that irate Republicans are out to shoot him, it’s simply that the weirdly warped gun lobby has somehow concocted the idea that firearms will be going up in value with Obama in the White House.

According to a Mister Frank Meeker, who’s 58 years old and owns twelve guns (how can he fire them all at once? He’s only got ten trigger fingers. Perhaps he’s very adroit with his toes?) firearms will be rising sharply in value, as it’s expected an Obama administration will be raising the tax on guns and ammunition.

Never mind, Frank. Diversify. Lots of people, some with no trigger fingers at all, have become very good at painting with their toes.

One day your watercolor of the Colt 39AC/42D(240 shot dum-dum automatic) may be worth more than the real thing.

^{[1] “Gun Shops See Sales Boom After Obama Election Victory”, KKTV.Com, November 7th 2008}

Filed under: AK47’s in a lovely pastel pink

There’s a serious recession looming for most countries on the planet. Major auto manufacturers in the US are on the verge of bankruptcy, possibly with the loss of tens of thousands of jobs. The IMF has said Britain’s economy is in such dreadful shape it is likely to suffer more than other European nations from the encroaching world recession. In the Congo a potential genocide seems likely on a scale of Rwanda in the 1990’s. To top it all, China is raising a finger to western nations over global warming, with the response: “You caused it, you fix it.”

All of this is irrelevant. The US media is preoccupied with even more important matters. The issue is of such vital international importance even a Russian nuclear missile attack on Washington would take second place.

It’s a matter still to be resolved. The future of the country depends on finding an answer. All over the United States media reporters are poised, all desperate to be first with the scoop to end all scoops.

There is a question on everyone’s lips; a conundrum as yet unanswerable:

What kind of puppy will the Obama family choose to take with them to the White House?

Filed under: Barking mad