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Muntadar al-Zeidi threw his shoes at George W Bush as a gesture of contempt for the US president. Al-Zeidi has now disappeared, imprisoned by the Iraqi government, and no-one knows where. Despite mass rallies in Baghdad and calls for his release from around the Arab world, to date the Iraqi government is remaining quiet about his whereabouts, and his welfare.

Immediately following the incident, George W Bush remarked, “this is what can happen in a free democracy.”

It can happen under any type of regime. It should be the consequences of such actions that are different in a free democracy. Throwing shoes at a visiting American president, even one responsible for invading your country and indirectly causing the deaths of your relatives, is not generally a wise move. Muntadar al-Zeidi is either very brave or rather foolish.

What, one wonders, would be the result of an American citizen throwing his shoes at George W Bush – say, on the White House lawn or in the Rose Garden? Assuming, that is, said citizen could ever get close enough. Undoubtedly, they would be wrestled to the floor, arrested, and carted away. One might hope that, after being duly charged, they would be released on bail pending a court appearance and the imposition of a slap on the wrist, a small fine, and suitable caution not to do anything so foolish again.

Of course, in America one can never be sure about such things. US presidents are considered almost divine – even the retarded variety, like George W Bush. A charge of treason or attempted murder, or something equally silly might be made to stick, incarcerating our citizen for the rest of his life.

What chance then, Muntadar al-Zeidi?

I suppose it’s in his favor he chose a US president rather than an Iraqi one. Perhaps, in Iraq, that may not be considered so serious. I guess it just depends how much pressure US officialdom can bring to bear on prime minister Maliki.

Or, given that’s it’s the season of goodwill and the outgoing US president will be pardoning all those Wall Street crooks and swindlers, and others from his administration presently languishing in jail for ‘doing their duty’, perhaps he could pardon al-Zeidi as well?

Mind, frankly, I wouldn’t want to be pardoned by scum like Bush, if I were in Muntadar al-Zeidi’s shoes; though it’s unlikely I ever would be, given that only yesterday they were whizzing perilously close past Bush’s nose.

I wonder how many human beings around the world would have willingly given up their Christmas break just for the sheer joy of seeing at least one of them land squarely on the presidential hooter?

There’s no God, yer know?

Free Muntadar al-Zeidi. He’s Sparrow Chat’s Christmas Hero of 2008.

Filed under: Free Muntadar al-Zeidi

George W Bush, on an unannounced visit to Iraq today, finally received the ultimate insult when an Iraqi reporter threw his shoes at the US president during a press conference.

All that can be said of this incident is that it’s long overdue. The man in stockinged feet deserves a medal.

Filed under: Bush’s comeuppence

With Christmas looming over the horizon, the news that astronomers have recently calculated the birth of Jesus as June 17th creates something of a wet blanket on all those festivities arranged for December 25th.^[1]

Complex computer software has been used to verify that a bright star really did appear over Bethlehem around 2000 years ago. Unfortunately, it was in June, not December.

Mister David Reneke, the editor of Sky and Space magazine, who charted the heavenly bodies as they were 2000 years ago, said:

We have software that can recreate the night sky exactly as it was at any point in the last several thousand years.

‘Venus and Jupiter became very close in the the year 2BC and they would have appeared to be one bright beacon of light.

‘We are not saying this was definitely the Christmas star – but it is the strongest explanation for it of any I have seen so far.

‘Astronomy is such a precise science, we can plot exactly where the planets were, and it certainly seems this is the fabled Christmas star. There’s no other explanation that so closely matches the facts we have from the time.

‘This could well have been what the three wise men interpreted as a sign. They could easily have mistaken it for one bright star.”

It would seem our glorious celebration, symbolized by falling snow, roasted chestnuts in front of an open fire, and sleigh bells ringing in a winter wonderland, will have to change. Now, Christmas will be in peak summer, with scorching temperatures, mosquitoes, and a Santa suffering heatstroke due to his thick red suit and billowing beard.

Aha! But wait. I smell a rat. Mister David Reneke is an Australian. Suddenly, all is clear. It’s a diabolical Antipodean plot to wrest our northern hemisphere winter Christmas, and plunge it instead into a southern hemisphere winter Christmas.

June is mid-winter in Australia. For years the Aussies have had to celebrate Christmas in mid-summer. No sleigh bells, no roasting chestnuts, no falling snow. Now, they’re trying to swindle us into believing Jesus was born in midsummer.

Well, it simply won’t work. Christmas will always be on December 25th because it always has been – for thousands of years before Christ.

And don’t you Aussies bloomin’ well forget it!

^{[1] “Cancel Christmas – Jesus was born June 17, say scientists” Daily Mail, December 9th 2008}

Filed under: They’re all descended from criminals, don’t ya know?