Christmas In June? Humbug!

With Christmas looming over the horizon, the news that astronomers have recently calculated the birth of Jesus as June 17th creates something of a wet blanket on all those festivities arranged for December 25th.[1]

Complex computer software has been used to verify that a bright star really did appear over Bethlehem around 2000 years ago. Unfortunately, it was in June, not December.

Mister David Reneke, the editor of Sky and Space magazine, who charted the heavenly bodies as they were 2000 years ago, said:

We have software that can recreate the night sky exactly as it was at any point in the last several thousand years.

‘Venus and Jupiter became very close in the the year 2BC and they would have appeared to be one bright beacon of light.

‘We are not saying this was definitely the Christmas star – but it is the strongest explanation for it of any I have seen so far.

‘Astronomy is such a precise science, we can plot exactly where the planets were, and it certainly seems this is the fabled Christmas star. There’s no other explanation that so closely matches the facts we have from the time.

‘This could well have been what the three wise men interpreted as a sign. They could easily have mistaken it for one bright star.”

It would seem our glorious celebration, symbolized by falling snow, roasted chestnuts in front of an open fire, and sleigh bells ringing in a winter wonderland, will have to change. Now, Christmas will be in peak summer, with scorching temperatures, mosquitoes, and a Santa suffering heatstroke due to his thick red suit and billowing beard.

Aha! But wait. I smell a rat. Mister David Reneke is an Australian. Suddenly, all is clear. It’s a diabolical Antipodean plot to wrest our northern hemisphere winter Christmas, and plunge it instead into a southern hemisphere winter Christmas.

June is mid-winter in Australia. For years the Aussies have had to celebrate Christmas in mid-summer. No sleigh bells, no roasting chestnuts, no falling snow. Now, they’re trying to swindle us into believing Jesus was born in midsummer.

Well, it simply won’t work. Christmas will always be on December 25th because it always has been – for thousands of years before Christ.

And don’t you Aussies bloomin’ well forget it!

[1] “Cancel Christmas – Jesus was born June 17, say scientists” Daily Mail, December 9th 2008

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5 Replies to “Christmas In June? Humbug!”

  1. Long time no *see* R.J.

    I’ve got a fair bit to catch up on here and elsewhere but can already see that you’ve had health problems too. I hope the worst is over for you now.

    I’ve also had a rough ride lately. A bug I picked up lingered on and on, and on top of that my daughter was hospitalized. Three weeks later she’s still stuck there – in The Royal. What with feeling so lousy for so long and all the travelling back & forth visiting, well it’s knocked the stuffing out of me.

    Anyway, like I said, let’s hope both you and I are on the mend – and that my daughter soon will be, too.

  2. Twilight – while recognizing that Jesus and I have much in common (though I’ve never been crucified, dead, buried, and resurrected – though there’s still time) it behooves me to point out that if you’re going to have a good, solid, reliable, count-on-me-to-sort-out-your-problems God, then He has to be born on December 25th. All the best ones were: Mithras, Ishtar, and half a dozen others were all born on that date, so no Aussie is going to pull the antipodean wool over our eyes in a vain attempt to rob me of my hot chestnuts and sleigh bells (even though the last time sleigh bells were heard in Illinois was when a drunken Sally Army convert deserted his post outside Wal-Mart, stole a car and drove around town ringing his charity bell out the window, and bellowing “Jesus wants me for a sunbeam” at the top of his voice).

    TOB – my heartfelt sympathy. I can only hope you and yours are returned to rude health in the shortest possible time. At our age, viruses knock us about more so than when we were twenty. Happily, I’m well on the mend. I hope you are, too. My best wishes to your daughter; thankfully, the young usually recover more quickly. I hope she’s fully better in time for Christmas.

  3. Due to maintenance work today on the Sparrow Chat database, two comments failed to make it onto the blog. My apologies to the commentators concerned. Their comments are reproduced below:

    Twilight – LOL! RJ. I’m linking to your post on my blog today.

    Also adding my sympathies here to TOB.

    This Old Brit – Thanks, folks. Much appreciated.

  4. TBH – the whole point of the Christmas celebration (particularly from my athiest point of view 😉 ) is to have something to look forward to when the nights are long, the days are cold, and it doesn’t seem like the sun will ever rise again. It has long been known that the date was set by the Romans to coincide with the pagan festivals in a “your god is my God” kind of way.

    Hey – it’s just an excuse for drinking, eating, and seeing family 😀 (all of which I do in abundance this season…)

    Hugs for TOB – hope you and your daughter recover soon.

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