With Christmas looming over the horizon, the news that astronomers have recently calculated the birth of Jesus as June 17th creates something of a wet blanket on all those festivities arranged for December 25th.
Complex computer software has been used to verify that a bright star really did appear over Bethlehem around 2000 years ago. Unfortunately, it was in June, not December.
Mister David Reneke, the editor of Sky and Space magazine, who charted the heavenly bodies as they were 2000 years ago, said:
We have software that can recreate the night sky exactly as it was at any point in the last several thousand years.
‘Venus and Jupiter became very close in the the year 2BC and they would have appeared to be one bright beacon of light.
‘We are not saying this was definitely the Christmas star – but it is the strongest explanation for it of any I have seen so far.
‘Astronomy is such a precise science, we can plot exactly where the planets were, and it certainly seems this is the fabled Christmas star. There’s no other explanation that so closely matches the facts we have from the time.
‘This could well have been what the three wise men interpreted as a sign. They could easily have mistaken it for one bright star.”
It would seem our glorious celebration, symbolized by falling snow, roasted chestnuts in front of an open fire, and sleigh bells ringing in a winter wonderland, will have to change. Now, Christmas will be in peak summer, with scorching temperatures, mosquitoes, and a Santa suffering heatstroke due to his thick red suit and billowing beard.
Aha! But wait. I smell a rat. Mister David Reneke is an Australian. Suddenly, all is clear. It’s a diabolical Antipodean plot to wrest our northern hemisphere winter Christmas, and plunge it instead into a southern hemisphere winter Christmas.
June is mid-winter in Australia. For years the Aussies have had to celebrate Christmas in mid-summer. No sleigh bells, no roasting chestnuts, no falling snow. Now, they’re trying to swindle us into believing Jesus was born in midsummer.
Well, it simply won’t work. Christmas will always be on December 25th because it always has been – for thousands of years before Christ.
And don’t you Aussies bloomin’ well forget it!
 “Cancel Christmas – Jesus was born June 17, say scientists” Daily Mail, December 9th 2008
Filed under: They’re all descended from criminals, don’t ya know?