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Christmas In June? Humbug!

With Christmas looming over the horizon, the news that astronomers have recently calculated the birth of Jesus as June 17th creates something of a wet blanket on all those festivities arranged for December 25th.[1]

Complex computer software has been used to verify that a bright star really did appear over Bethlehem around 2000 years ago. Unfortunately, it was in June, not December.

Mister David Reneke, the editor of Sky and Space magazine, who charted the heavenly bodies as they were 2000 years ago, said:

We have software that can recreate the night sky exactly as it was at any point in the last several thousand years.

‘Venus and Jupiter became very close in the the year 2BC and they would have appeared to be one bright beacon of light.

‘We are not saying this was definitely the Christmas star – but it is the strongest explanation for it of any I have seen so far.

‘Astronomy is such a precise science, we can plot exactly where the planets were, and it certainly seems this is the fabled Christmas star. There’s no other explanation that so closely matches the facts we have from the time.

‘This could well have been what the three wise men interpreted as a sign. They could easily have mistaken it for one bright star.”

It would seem our glorious celebration, symbolized by falling snow, roasted chestnuts in front of an open fire, and sleigh bells ringing in a winter wonderland, will have to change. Now, Christmas will be in peak summer, with scorching temperatures, mosquitoes, and a Santa suffering heatstroke due to his thick red suit and billowing beard.

Aha! But wait. I smell a rat. Mister David Reneke is an Australian. Suddenly, all is clear. It’s a diabolical Antipodean plot to wrest our northern hemisphere winter Christmas, and plunge it instead into a southern hemisphere winter Christmas.

June is mid-winter in Australia. For years the Aussies have had to celebrate Christmas in mid-summer. No sleigh bells, no roasting chestnuts, no falling snow. Now, they’re trying to swindle us into believing Jesus was born in midsummer.

Well, it simply won’t work. Christmas will always be on December 25th because it always has been – for thousands of years before Christ.

And don’t you Aussies bloomin’ well forget it!

[1] “Cancel Christmas – Jesus was born June 17, say scientists” Daily Mail, December 9th 2008

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Four Oxen And A Lion

A recession occurs when the management and top executives of industry, in conjunction with politicians, run their companies and their nation’s economy into the ground, usually while siphoning off funds to guarantee their own, individual, future security.

This latest global recession has illuminated so many glaring examples of such ineptitude that further clarification is surely unnecessary. Why then, one might ask, are the guilty allowed to shy away from the consequences of their actions, while the innocent are treated as scapegoats and victimized?

We are hearing daily of thousands laid off, thrown out of work, forced to take on more and more for less and less, and generally treated as though they are the reason their company is headed for bankruptcy, rather than the true perpetrators much further up the corporate ladder.

Why are working people expected to suffer due to the inadequacies and blunderings of those charged with the responsibility of running matters? Only today, in Britain, a report highlights how postmen are being forced to walk at 4mph, rather than the normal 2.4mph, so they can take on longer rounds with no compensation, ostensibly to save the postal service money.[1]

In almost every large company or government institution the computer rules the day. Upper management has no experience of working at grassroots level and relies on computer statistics to direct the working lives of those on the shop floor of industry, or in offices performing the everyday tasks that keep their company functioning. The result of management’s inability to formulate proper and sane practices for the workers has led the world into the economic recession we are all suffering today.

Was it the lowly bank teller or insurance clerk who was responsible for the collapse of Lehmann Bros.? Are GM or Chrysler shop floor car makers the reason those companies are presently begging the US Congress for billions of dollars? No, yet despite all the money poured into the financial sector, and even though the car companies will likely get their billions, most of the bank tellers, insurance clerks, and automotive construction workers will be out of a job very soon, if they aren’t already.

There are thousands of corporate managers and board room executives in America, but there are tens of millions of workers – ordinary Joe’s. Why do we allow a few upper-crusted, over-fed, and over-paid Nancy-types to walk all over us? Why do the workers always have to carry the can for the bosses?

“But….but, what can we do?” I hear the cry.

Quite a lot, actually – without even resorting to strikes, or riots, or social disruption of any kind. We could start by boycotting every firm that lays off workers – take our custom elsewhere. If everyone took up that idea company directors would think twice about saving their necks by laying off a few thousand workers. Imagine if the working people all refused to buy GM vehicles, or Chrysler, or Ford, until sacked workers were reinstated; or, moved their accounts to banks that weren’t shedding workers.

And that’s just one idea. There’s plenty more out there, because it’s not the bosses that have the brainpower, in reality, it’s the workers. Unfortunately, those who hold the reins of power have long practiced the art of division – divide and conquer – even to the extent of devising two amalgamated political parties, so the workers will take sides against each other under the illusion there is a difference between them.

Six hundred years BC, Æsop wrote a fable of four oxen and a lion, which went something like this:

A lion used to prowl about a field in which four oxen used to dwell. Many a time he tried to attack them; but whenever he came near they turned their tails to one another, so that whichever way he approached them he was met by the horns of one of them. At last, however, they fell to quarreling among themselves, and each went off to pasture alone in a separate corner of the field. Then the lion attacked them one by one and soon made an end of all four.”

“United We Stand, Divided We Fall” has long been a cry of nationalistic fervor to resound from rallies and political theaters around the globe. Those who shout it the loudest are the politicians and corporate bosses who expect the rest of us to echo the sentiment.

Sadly, their sentiment is false. If they unite at all, it’s only amongst themselves. When was the last time corporate America stood firm for its workers? Does anyone have even one example?

Of course, the counter to “United We Stand, Divided We Fall” is “Divide And Conquer”. The politicians and corporate bosses have been practicing that sentiment since time immemorial.

Isn’t it time that, like Æsop’s oxen, we all turned our tails to one another, and thwarted the lions?

[1] “Royal Mail told us to walk faster on rounds to save money….” Daily Mail, December 12th 2008

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Is The USPS Ripping Us Off?

With the run-up to Christmas one would expect the US Post Office to be busy. For sometime now their website, though never brilliant, has helped to cut queuing times at the counter by providing basic services, including the ability to print postage labels and arrange shipment pick-up. For those of us with schedules to keep it can be a boon.

This week I needed to send a parcel to my father in the UK. Having already ordered and received the necessary USPS ‘Flat Rate Mailing Envelope’, I completed the packaging and began preparing to print out the shipping label/postage, only to be presented with a USPS webpage informing me my ability to print labels had been temporarily curtailed – that the ‘service was temporarily unavailable’.

The service has proved to be ‘temporarily unavailable’ for the last three days, with still no indication when it will be restored. My guess is it won’t be back until sometime in January, if at all.

Under the ‘service is temporarily unavailable’ notice is further information suggesting that those in need of this ‘temporarily unavailable service’ should avail themselves of the services of ‘one of our approved vendors’. It provides links to two private companies, Endicia.com and Stamps.com..

Both these companies will happily provide the software that will enable USPS consumers to print out their required shipping labels, complete with postage. The one drawback is that both will charge a monthly fee for this service. Endicia imposes $10 per month for their ‘basic’ service and requires that its customers purchase one of their printers for the purpose. Their software (surprise, surprise!) doesn’t function on a normal home printer.

Stamps.com will allow use of a home printer, but will charge $15 per month for their ‘basic’ service.

Suddenly, a free service provided by USPS is no longer available, at the busiest time of year, and the only option apart from a long trudge to the town post office is to sign up for one of two grossly overpriced alternatives.

The questions that spring nimbly to the forefront of the mind are:

1) How many board members of USPS are sitting on the boards of Endicia and Stamps.com, and

2) Is the federally-owned United States Postal Service complicit with two private companies in ripping off the American people?

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