Author: R J Adams

About nine months ago the Adam’s household decided it was time to go green and replace all those old, high-energy, incandescent light bulbs with the new curly-wurly type.

Two boxes were purchased from Wal-Mart. One contained 60-watt equivalents, the other, 75-watt equivalents.

According to the blurb on the box, each bulb would last, “up to nine years!” This is good news as the new ‘greener’ bulbs contain mercury – a highly toxic element – and must be disposed of “as regulated by your local state authority.”

Where we live, the nearest recycling unit is seven miles away. That’s a long away to go just to trash a used light bulb. Still, every nine years isn’t so bad, and it is helping save the planet.

Except, two of these bulbs have burnt out within nine months.

Now, I know it states on the box – ‘up to’ nine years – but if you bought a car with an ‘up to’ 100,000 mile warranty and it fell apart after 11,000 miles, you’d be a bit miffed, wouldn’t you?

Then I checked the bulb packaging. On the back it said, “Made in China”.

‘nough said.

Filed under: Oriental substandards

There are a load of fucking idiots in America. I make no apology for the adjective. There’s really no other way to describe them. Of course, there are fucking idiots in every country on Earth – including Great Britain. In fact, Britain has more than its fair share. It’s one of the reasons it can no longer accurately be called ‘Great’.

But, at least, in Britain the fucking idiots don’t walk around with tea-bags hanging from their hats.

It’s to these deluded lunatics that I refer when I suggest there are a load of fucking idiots in America.

What is their purpose? What do they hope to achieve?

They organize rallies and give large sums of money to hear Sarah Palin talk a load of meaningless shit designed solely to make her extremely rich at their expense. And then they applaud. They’re so utterly stupid a tribe of chimpanzees would cover their eyes and go, “Oh, no, how embarrassing,” on realizing they were even remotely related to these people.

There’s a battle ongoing in the western world right now. On one side are the rich and powerful; on the other are the people. We, the people, have just been robbed of most of our wealth by the politicians, who work for the enemy. The bankers stole our money; our tax dollars, our pounds, our euros, to bale themselves out of a hole they created by their lustful greed for wealth. Palin, and her buddies, are on their side.

The tea baggers support the bankers. They’re the modern equivalent of quislings.

Unfortunately, they’re also such fucking idiots they don’t even realize it.

We can only hope they eventually comprehend the error of their ways and, along with their ludicrously stupid tea-bagger hats, leap into Boston Harbor in a grand gesture of mass suicide, as recompense for the traitorous manner in which they betrayed their fellow countrymen.

Unfortunately, that’s not likely to happen in the near future. These people are deluded into believing it’s they who are the true Americans.

But then, as noted earlier, they are fucking idiots.

Filed under: Psych ward candidates

It’s finally happened. It was only a matter of time. According to Alistair Burnett, who chaired last night’s farce – laughingly called a ‘debate’ – “we’ve been trying for years to get the party leaders on television to debate the issues prior to a general election.”

Yes, we have. But not in the glitzy, glamor-way, of American presidential politics. And last night, that’s exactly what we got.

The set was brand-spanking new; all three candidates were immaculate; they stood before pristine lecterns, and rolled out faultless arguments before a tiny studio audience, so obviously hand-picked for their impeccable behavior.

It was a flawless example of a presidential debate directly imported from the United States of America.

The army of spin doctors and political backroom boys responsible for ensuring no leader dropped a gaffe, will be patting themselves on the back this morning for a job well done.

Unfortunately, the British people are left scratching their heads in bewilderment. Well rehearsed answers and polished presentations do nothing but leave one wondering whether any political party truly has the capability to efficiently govern the United Kingdom.

Filed under: Political shenanigans