Even though it’s still only January, surely the prize for, “Yawn of the Year”, must already be firmly in the hands of this man…
…Lance Armstrong.
It’s difficult for those of us unused to the media assailment that accompanies the fall of American celebrities, to comprehend the US public’s reaction to such matters. One could hope Armstrong’s prolonged, sleep-inducing, interview with the Winfrey would mark an end to this apparently eternal saga, but that’s most unlikely.
For God’s sake, the guy was caught cheating. Dish out the justice he deserves and send him, and his remaining testicle, on his way – either to jail, or somewhere he can’t do further damage. When it’s finally over, he’ll still be worth a fortune and can retire to Barbados, or the Maldives, to live in the lap of luxury.
Until that finally happens I’ll be fast-forwarding the DVR through any TV program that so much as mentions his name.
There was a time, far back in the annals of history, when customer service was just that. We, as consumers, played a vital role in the Capitalist society. Manufacturers, service providers, worked hard to ensure we received the best possible product because, to be sure, if they didn’t their competitors would.
They were the glory days of the consumer. Except, we weren’t called consumers then. We were customers.
A ‘consumer’ is an organism that gobbles up things. A ‘customer’, according to Wikipedia, is:
…the recipient of a good service, product, or idea, obtained from a seller, vendor, or supplier for a monetary or other valuable consideration…”
So the term ‘consumer’ is incorrect. We are all still customers, though the corporate world has quite forgotten it. They prefer to think of us as gullible fools, which sadly some of us are. Hopefully, there are still a few who are not.
This morning, we received a letter in the mail. It was in a nice, posh envelope with fancy writing – though the line above the address, which looked like this:
***********AUTO**3-DIGIT 498
…gave cause for suspicion.
It was from our TV service provider, DishNetwork, and they seemed overcome with gratitude that we were their customer.
Opening the envelope revealed an equally posh little card, again extolling our virtues as their customer:
Was this to be an invitation to dinner with Joseph P. Clayton, himself…
…President & CEO of DishNetwork? (He didn’t buy that suit at Walmart!)
Or, mayhaps, a world cruise – all expenses paid by the company – in recognition of our valued custom?
Alas, no, it was simply a not-very-cleverly-couched attempt at informing us they were raising the monthly rate by another five dollars:
For those of us with less than 20-20 vision, the relevant paragraph reads:
“Starting in February, the monthly price of all core English packages will increase by $5. And if you have a DISH DVR, your service fee will increase by $1.”
It then goes on to illustrate all the many wonderful features that make it okay to charge another $60 a year, though when reading carefully it rapidly becomes obvious the benefits are non-existent.
I wonder how many people are employed by Dish Network solely to come up with ways of conning as many of their customers as possible? No doubt, they all coin in fat salaries for their clever ideas.
If they were all sent packing, and the company purchased cheaper envelopes, there’d be no need to raise their prices.
Do they really think we’re fooled by glossy envelopes and overly-sentimental, insincere, platitudes?
This condescending attitude towards the customer is prevalent in corporate America – try to make him/her feel important while squeezing a bit more from the bank account.
How much annual revenue is produced by every DishNetwork customer paying an extra $60 to $66 a year?
In these days of economic depression, high unemployment, and battles within Congress over spending cuts, it may come as some surprise to a few – those of us with something still working between our ears – that 34,000 of our US fellows have signed a White House petition demanding America build a ‘Death Star’.[1]
Not being one of the herd obsessed by Hollywood’s “Star Wars” epics, I was a trifle perturbed to learn a ‘Death Star’ is a huge military machine armed with super-lasers, roaming around space and in the business of destroying whole planets.
Apparently, even if the US Congress were in favor of the idea – and, let’s face it, they’ve managed to approve a few crazy suggestions in their time – the cost, $850 quadrillion dollars, would be prohibitive.
That’s $850 thousand billion, or billiards, as they’re known by mathematicians. And, let’s face it, there’s a load of balls in this somewhere. Not at all, say the exponents of this lunacy, it would create jobs and strengthen defense.
Given that the US arsenal of nuclear weapons is sufficient to destroy this planet a hundred times over, and it’s just possible not too many folks would be queuing up to work in outer space, it may be the whole deal hasn’t been completely thought through.
But then, is anything given suitable consideration anymore? If it comes off the TV, or out of Hollywood, it must surely have merit. It’s how Americans appear to be educated. I don’t know why they bother to keep the schools open. Think how much money would be saved if the government fired all the teachers and professors and paid kids to stay home and learn from the “History Channel”, and the “Biography Channel”. They’d know all about ancient aliens and celebrity ghosts within a week.
And, let’s not forget, “The Learning Channel”. No, on second thoughts, forget I wrote that.
With a state subsidy, cinemas could be free to students; universities offer degrees in religious studies based on the, “Passion of the Christ”…
…and “The Devil’s Rock”…
…just so they get a nicely balanced view of the subject.
Ben Affleck’s “Argo” is the latest Hollywood effort attempting to educate young minds. It’s a tale of the 1979-81 Iranian hostage crisis, and ‘tale’ is the operative word. Mark Lijek, one of the US diplomats caught up in the crisis, likes the film but admits it’s way off the truth.
From the BBC:
…Argo’s final scenes are superbly tense, as the six make it onto the plane by the skin of their teeth. The CIA had given them false departure documents for which, of course, there were no matching arrival forms.
The big climax is a heart-pounding chase down the runway as gun-toting members of the Revolutionary Guard try to stop them taking off.
“Absolutely none of that happened,” says Mark.[2]
It doesn’t matter. Hollywood hasn’t produced anything truly factual in its history. It’s a dream factory, designed to titillate and entertain. Which would be fine if Americans saw it in that light. Sadly, for many, it’s how they learn about life, history, and, yes, even religion.
Right now there’re 34,000 signatures on a White House petition to prove it.
