All In The Family

George W Bush and Richard (Dickhead) Cheney are related. They both share the same great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great – grandfather. (I may have inserted one ‘great’ too many, but better more than less!)

William French was a tailor who was born around 1605, and emigrated from Britain to Massachusetts when he was about thirty years old, with his wife, Elizabeth. She bore him ten children before she died at age 63, probably from exhaustion. Not so, our William. He went on to marry Mary Lathrop, when she was 29 and he was nigh on 70! William eventually succumbed some six or seven years later, but not before siring another four children to Mary, who already had five from a previous marriage. So the French household had fourteen children and five step-children. William probably died to get some peace.

Elizabeth’s line went on to eventually produce our beloved Vice President Richard B Cheney, and Mary’s sank to similar depths, ultimately ejaculating George Walker Bush.

Other notables to grace our lives from the French line include Samuel Morse, best known for advocating slavery and inventing the telegraph, and Charles Goodyear who discovered how to vulcanize rubber, but had absolutely nothing to do with the multi-national tire company that bears his name. He was enamored of rubber and spent all his time in a laboratory seeking new ways to use and improve it. In fact, he died owing $200,000.

In conclusion: one Bush/Cheney relative believed slave ownership a Divine Right; the other had a rubber fetish.


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