Month: January 2009

News today that John McCain’s greatest ally in the fight to conquer Obama Democracy, Joe the Plumber, has vacated his position as an unskilled bathroom drain unblocker, to become an ace reporter for Pyjama TV. Joe is headed to the Middle East on assignment, where he intends to interview Israeli soldiers and uncover the shocking truth behind the Gaza war. And all in the guise of media entertainment.

When Jon Stewart and his Daily Show took a prolonged holiday over the Christmas/New year period, the Adams family searched for alternative entertainment. This involved perusing other late night talk show hosts in the hope of finding someone, if not as funny as Jon Stewart, then at least remotely entertaining.

When you consider that the Adams household Tivos BBC News, NBC Nightly News, The Daily Show, and the Colbert Report (the latter mainly for Mrs Adams) and this is our sole viewing of the day, the loss of Stewart and Colbert for nearly three weeks over the holidays constituted a major drop in the entertainment quota provided by our cable provider. At a figure in excess of one hundred dollars per month for cable access, it was imperative to remedy the situation by seeking alternatives.

Research, in the form of recorded programs from Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, and Jay Leno, produced decisive results. Letterman was decidedly unfunny, so relied entirely on the quality of guest to determine whether the show might be watchable, or not. O’Brian clapped his hands far too loudly every few seconds, darted backwards and forwards in front of the camera in a manner guaranteed to induce motion sickness, or epilepsy in those prone, and only managed to raise a taped titter with the pre-recorded studio audience, leaving the live viewers chez Adams shaking their heads in bewilderment.

Jay Leno, on the other hand, is every inch a professional entertainer. Undoubtedly, one of the funniest stand-up comics America has on offer today. Yes, he may be a trifle ‘dated’ for some, in which case I say – fine, watch O’Brien and suffer the motion sickness. Leno is of the old school, a guru for the younger, up-and-coming comedians of the day. His rapport with the band is exquisite, his ability to wring the best from his guests, profound.

No doubt, it’s these very qualities that induced NBC to consider sacking Leno and substituting his program slot for Conan O’Brien’s second-rate show.

Well, it’s par for the course, isn’t it? No doubt O’Brien is cheaper than Leno.

Thankfully, Leno has negotiated an earlier time slot, but it bodes ill for the permanence of his exposure on NBC. But, then, NBC was always second-rate, so maybe Leno could do better elsewhere, on a network that recognizes his own singular brand of genius.

On the other hand, this is America, where the dollar is way more important then genius.

One thing’s for sure: the Tivo line-up chez Adams is now BBC News, NBC Nightly News, The Daily Show, Colbert Report, and the Late Show with Jay Leno.

It will stay that way until NBC decide, in their infinite stupidity, to finally replace Leno with Joe the Plumber.

Filed under: TV’s best

In the midst of all the bloodshed and suffering in Gaza this week comes news that Britain’s quisling ex-prime minister, Tony Blair, is to receive the highest civilian award offered by the United States – the Presidential Medal of Freedom.^[1] It will be presented by George W Bush as he leaves office, presumably in recognition of Blair’s services to the US, by selling his country down the river, lying to Parliament, and authorizing the slaughter of hundreds of British soldiers in Iraq, needlessly (and against the wishes of the British people).

Blair has been incredibly quiet over the Israeli aggression in Gaza recently, partly because, despite being the ‘Quartet’s’ man in the Middle East, he was on holiday for the first week of the conflict and seemed unwilling to cut it short for such a minor infringement as the slaughtering of a few hundred Palestinians. Besides he’s making way too much money elsewhere, either lecturing Yale freshmen on the way to combine war, politics and Christianity (and still stay in with Jesus), or, delivering the odd $100,000 half hour, after-dinner, speech to grotesquely wealthy American businessmen.

Well, it beats pretending to be the friend of the British working classes while methodically robbing them blind, doesn’t it, Tony?

2009 has begun with the usual festival of political avarice, power-grabbing, and slaughter of innocents we’ve come to expect from the scum holding the reigns. It’s all delivered with a hearty measure of self-righteousness and the feigned intellectual pomposity that makes our world politicians so endearing -at least to those stupid enough to vote for them.

All hope rests with Barack Obama, and whether he’ll really be different from all the rest. It’s unlikely. So far, all that’s escaped has been hot air, so we must wait to see if any of it coalesces into solid, common-sense, policy making. At this stage, even a mild rebuke for Israeli tactics in Gaza would be welcome, but the chances remain slim, even after Inauguration Day.

On the subject of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict in general, and Gaza in particular, it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture. “Hamas fires rockets; Israel invades Gaza to stop rockets,” is the limit of knowledge of every US politician I’ve heard speak on the subject – and there have been many.

Contrary to Israeli and US political propaganda, there are lots of Israelis who refuse to condone the ongoing actions of their government. Unlike most Americans, they are far better educated on the ‘big picture’.

One such Israeli is Avi Shlaim. He’s Professor of International Relations at probably the most prestigious educational establishment in the world, Oxford University in England. He served in the Israeli Defence Force and believes wholeheartedly in Israel’s right to exist.

Surely, with all the ill thought-out hot air being bandied about on the subject right now, mostly by those with their own agendas, or by uneducated louts who’d not know their David Ben Gurions from their Mossads, the opinion of Professor Shlaim should be respected?

Decide for yourself:

^{“How Israel brought Gaza to the brink of humanitarian catastrophe” Avi Shlaim, The Guardian, January 7th 2009}

^{[1] “Blair to get US Medal of Freedom” BBC, January 5th 2009}

Filed under: US/UK/Israeli politics

As is so often the case with Brian Williams of NBC Nightly News, he failed tonight to grasp the true meaning behind his own opening remarks:

“Good evening, we are eleven days into the first war of the new year…….”

This, on the sixth day of January.

What a sad indictment of the human race.

War – a violent power struggle between two or more factions, identified by sudden mass slaughter and the rushing hither and thither of international leaders and politicians, who huddle aimlessly in groups for hours or days at a time and whisper amongst themselves, only to emerge the day after the war ends, to announce they’ve devised a possible ceasefire plan.

If ever proof were needed that the human infant never attains maturity through adulthood, one need only look to those charged with ruling this planet on our behalf. Whenever any international crisis occurs, they emerge like swarms of bees from their political hives, and flit about making lots of inane comments. Small groups combine to work out strategy and spin, not to tackle the crisis but to ascertain how best to work it to their own advantage.

First, they must attempt to convince us they know what they’re doing, then devise a suitable fable designed to slag off one of the combatants in the crisis. This requires time; usually, however long it takes to reach agreement with one side for the best munitions deal.

When Israel went to war with Lebanon in 2006, the international political community lived up to its reputation. Condoleeza Rice, as US Secretary of State, rushed hither and thither around the Middle East, meeting all sorts of people but achieving absolutely nothing. Britain’s foreign secretary did exactly the same. The French and Germans got involved. It wasn’t until long after the war ended with Israel’s ignominious defeat by Hesbollah, that we learned Western nations had actually been holding back on achieving any ceasefire agreement, under pressure from the USA, who’d been asked by Israel not to negotiate a ceasefire until Israel finished what it set out to do.

All the reams of media video showing Rice parleying with Arab leaders and insisting ‘peace was just around the corner’, all the hours of TV news coverage we had to sit through, was all a load of lies and subterfuge designed to make us think one thing, while the total opposite was being engineered behind the scenes.

We can be sure a similar farce is being played out during this latest snippet of Israeli aggression.

And how do these wankers get power in the first place?

We, the people, give it to them.

Welcome to the sixth day of 2009. We hoped to get through this year peaceably, but didn’t quite make it.

Filed under: Everyone’s a war criminal