Month: August 2008

I really don’t want them, but it appears I have no choice. Who’s bright idea was it, and why weren’t we, the consumer, consulted?

How do I know they’re not damaging my health?

Suddenly, it’s become impossible to purchase disposable garbage bags that don’t smell like they’ve spent the last few weeks in Heidi Fleiss’s boudoir. If the manufacturers must insist on impregnating their products with the odor of a whore’s bed chamber, I believe I have a right to know which chemicals are involved and if there’s any possibility they may be carcinogenic, because frankly, this being America, I can’t trust the manufacturer to put my welfare above his profit margin.

Presumably, this ‘essence de Mata Hari’ is meant to disguise the stench of garbage left too long in the kitchen trash can. I have news for the unsophisticated American executive whose idea led to this unwarranted intrusion of my olfactory organs: the collectors come twice a week and remove my rubbish before it reaches a peak of putrescence demanding the addition of your noxious chemicals. Garishly scented garbage bags may suit Americans content to hoard their rubbish for months to save a few dollars on trash removal, but this particular resident would prefer a standard, preferably bio-degradable (as if!) non-nasally insulting container designed solely for the purpose for which it is used.

I am, of course, overlooking the possibility that the inventor of these products intends they replace the bald eagle as a gloriously apt symbol of America and its way of life. The concept of a huge, scent-emitting, garbage bag capable of enclosing those many aspects of US culture rapidly decomposing in the great trash can of American political and socio-economic ideology, while disguising the resultant miasmic stench continually permeating the rest of the planet, may yet prove an excellent idea.

Just not in my kitchen, thank you.

Filed under: Wha’ d’yer think of it so far?

……. and here’s the proof: New York Times, August 12th 2008.

Filed under: Caring societies

Two items depicting the madness of America hit the headlines today. The first involved the White House and its administration, which in response to Russia’s deployment in Georgia, pulled out all the stops by offering Poland whatever sweeteners were necessary to persuade its government to site US missiles on its territory.^[1]

The Poles had been unwilling to make a deal; a high percentage of its populace are opposed to any US missile bases on Polish soil. Today, the US raised its offer. Obviously, the rewards were such that the Polish government couldn’t possibly refuse, for we hear today that an agreement has been reached.

So far, the US offer has not been made public. Given the situation in Georgia, this can be nothing more than a deliberate escalation of tensions between Russia and the US.

What does it tell us?

It says that any agreement with Poland at this time, particularly one so hastily convened, is an attempt to kick Russia in the teeth, a face-saving exercise in the light of Russia’s obvious challenge to the US not to assume it can walk in and take control of nations sitting on the Russian border.

It may have been politic to wait awhile, to respect the obvious concerns of another nation still sloughing off the dead skin of bankruptcy and political turmoil. But that’s not the way of George W Bush and his cavalry of dead-beat Republican bully-boys, more at home with the game of fisty-cuffs, than the delicacies of a chess board.

Meanwhile, US secretary of state Condoleeza Rice, obsessing on events of forty years ago, flies into Georgia with handkerchief poised to mop up the pathetic tears of a failed US-trained lawyer-cum-political leader, whose only destiny is to whine about how he took on an ex-superpower and lost.

Back home in Texas (where else?) school teachers are being issued handguns in an ill-thought-out attempt to defend their pupils from possible attack by gunmen who aren’t necessarily school teachers.^[2]

The brain-dead local school superintendent of Harrold district, David Thweatt, says:

“”When the federal government started making schools gun-free zones, that’s when all of these shootings started……. if something were to happen here, I’d much rather be calling a parent to tell them that their child is OK because we were able to protect them.”

Always assuming, Mister Thweatt, one of your teachers doesn’t overreact and accidentally shoot one of the pupils in the head, or neck, or stomach.

Perhaps, a more sensible suggestion would be to simply arm every school pupil from kindergarten upwards, and let them defend themselves, probably from the teachers when detention is given out?

Mister Thweatt, you are a thweatt….a total thweatt….or, to put it another way, you’re a total twat.

God Bless President George and America! For sure, no bugger else will.

^{[1] “Russian anger at US missile deal” BBC, August 15th 2008}

^{[2] “Guns for Texas school’s teachers” BBC, August 16th 2008}

Filed under: Hypocrisy wins gold