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I remember a time when Britain was, perhaps, no longer “Great”, but at least it was sane and sensible. Then I left, to live in America.

Now, I’m not suggesting the old country went downhill just because it lost one of its favorite sons to the colonies, but there’s no doubt sanity and commonsense have become rarities in modern Merrie England, just as they have on this side of the pond.

Only a few weeks ago I wrote of Dr Brian Primack from Pittsburgh University, who was obsessed with the idea that sex became irresistible to teenagers who listened to lots of rap music with randy lyrics.^[1] Now, the nutty scientist syndrome has crossed the pond, and we have Russell Foster, a neuroscientist from Brasenose College, Oxford, telling us teenagers should not begin lessons until 11 am, as their brains work better in the afternoon.

According to Professor Foster, head of circadian neuroscience (that’s a fancy name for sleep study) at the college, teenager’s brains are wired differently from those of adults and work two hours behind adult time.^[2]

He then goes on to blame the rest of us for “making teenagers the way they are” by forcing them to get out of bed at a reasonable hour and do a bit of work.

I’m not sure if Professor Foster ever was, himself, a teenager, or maybe he was a young nerd who never went partying, courting, or generally whooping it up, after school or college. Perhaps, he just arrived on Earth by flying saucer at the age of eighty-six?

Someone needs to point out to him that teenager’s brains don’t function well before 11 am because they’re clogged with all the booze and marijuana consumed by their owners the night before, coupled with humping the current girlfriend/boyfriend from midnight till four in the morning.

Neither is this phenomenon specific to teenagers. While grade-school kids are less likely to be comatose in the morning due to reasons related above, (though with certain kids on my school bus all three factors may be relevant) kids generally don’t get enough sleep these days. Most have TVs and computers in their bedrooms, and parents are generally lax in ensuring their offspring are in bed and asleep by a reasonable hour.

The sweet, bleary-eyed, little angels I drive to school each morning bear no resemblance to the brood of Beelzebub’s offspring that assail the school bus for the home run in the afternoon. Yelling, screaming, fighting, throwing school bags around, and generally behaving like a pack of wild baboons on the rampage, these creatures, shot full and high from artificial sweeteners and sugar, are not even related to the little dears happily dozing in their seats at 8.00 o’clock that morning.

Professor Foster has teamed up with Dr Paul Kelley, a school principal from Monkseaton High School in the county of North Tyneside, England. Dr Kelley wants his school governors to adjust lesson times to take account of Professor Foster’s findings.

Last year, Doctor Kelley carried out his own research by giving students three, 20 minute long science lessons interspersed with ten minutes of physical activity, before making them sit an examination. Prior to the lessons, the students had not covered any of the General Certificate of Secondary Education science syllabus, yet amazingly, results showed the students scored up to 90% in the GCSE examination paper.

The finding could revolutionize education in Britain. If Dr Kelley’s conclusions are correct, students need only attend school for an hour and a half per subject, before sitting and passing all the examinations necessary to assure them places at the most prestigious universities, where they’ll enroll for a day, achieve their degrees and move on to become top ranking politicians, doctors, idiot circadian neuroscientists, and mentally retarded school principals.

Presumably, during the ten minutes of physical activity, teenager’s brains are able to pluck the knowledge right out of the ether. Or, a more plausible theory, and one shared with the vast majority of British teachers, is that the GCSE examinations have now become so ridiculously easy that kids are able to pass them without doing any work at all.

Of course, that’s a different subject, and yet another chapter in the long saga of declining sanity and commonsense effecting the western world.

^{[1] “Seriously?” Sparrow Chat, February 24th 2009}

^{[2] “Head urges lie-ins for teenagers” BBC, March 9th 2009}

Filed under: It’s been a hard day’s night

The world is plunging into possibly the greatest financial depression it has ever seen; both the United States and China are suffering badly, with millions thrown out of work in both countries, homes foreclosed, soup kitchens once again operating in major cities.

Meanwhile, how are these two nations behaving towards each other?

In the China Sea, Chinese ships are busily bugging an American naval vessel, the USNS Impeccable, their crews stripped down to their underwear as American sailors fire water cannons at them.^[1]

What’s it all about?

Do Barack Obama and Hu Jintao know this is going on? Have the two leaders sanctioned this childish game of ‘catch me if you can’ between a supposedly unarmed US surveillance ship, and a Chinese naval fleet consisting of a naval intelligence-gathering ship, a Bureau of Maritime Fisheries Patrol Vessel, a State Oceanographic Administration patrol vessel, and two small trawlers.

It’s hardly what you’d call an armada, now is it?

According to the US, who’ve never been known to lie on such matters – well, hardly ever – the Impeccable has been cruising in international waters, simply minding its own business, while constantly harassed by bits of the Chinese air force, and what is obviously a very small, and somewhat nondescript section of its navy.

It all sounds very US innocent, until we learn that the Impeccable is just seventy-five miles south of Hainan Island, a large chunk of rock not quite attached to the Chinese mainland, but very much a part of it, and sitting squarely across the mouth of the Gulf of Tonkin.

The area is described as “international waters” by the US, and technically it is, but the area is disputed, not only by China but also Vietnam and Taiwan. The Paracel Islands lie approximately 200 miles south of Hainan Island and are also claimed by these three nations.^[2]

The whole affair is complicated further by something called the ‘United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea’ which basically gave certain rights to coastal nations up to a 200 mile limit, rather than the old 12 mile limit. China is a signatory. The USA is not. Consequently, each nation is reading the term ‘international waters’, and ‘territorial waters’ under completely different definitions.

Frankly, sympathies should lie with the Chinese over this incident. Just ask yourself how America would react if Chinese naval vessels were poking around off California, or the Carolinas. F16’s would be winging their way skywards before you could take a first bite of your breakfast Big Mac.

It might be prudent to ask exactly what the USNS Impeccable is doing in the South China Sea. Her very presence there cannot fail to rouse Chinese passions.

Although overshadowed by events later that year, many Americans will recollect the Hainan Island Incident back in 2001. That time it involved an American Navy EP-3E surveillance aircraft snooping over the exact same stretch of ocean. The Chinese sent fighters to warn it off. One collided with the US aircraft, killing the Chinese pilot and forcing the American plane down on the Chinese airstrip at Hainan.

The event rapidly escalated into an international incident. The ‘United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea’ applies equally to airspace, and the Chinese argued the US were violating their territory. The US aircrew were detained for ten days, though well treated, and eventually the US delivered the famous, “Letter of the two sorries”, apologizing for the death of the Chinese pilot and loss of the plane, and for entering China’s airspace without authorization.

No-one really knows why the US caved under Chinese pressure, but it’s likely Jiang Zemin threatened to cut off George W Bush’s funding if he didn’t comply.

Given that America is in hock to China to the tune of billions of dollars, it may not be too long before another “Letter of the two sorries” is winging its way to Beijing. This time, over the USNS Not-Quite-So-Impeccable.

Meanwhile, America, get your sorry ass out of China’s backyard. In the present economic climate we all have enough to worry about, without the fear of yet another international incident.

^{[1] “Chinese ships ‘harass’ US vessel” BBC, March 9th 2009}

^{[2] South China Sea – Click to enlarge.}

Filed under: Chinese chequers anyone?

Whose side are you on in the Israeli/Palestinian conflict? Perhaps you feel that Israel has every right to defend itself against the homemade rockets Hamas and other Palestinian freedom fighters (terrorists?) have been firing across the Gaza/Israel border, or maybe you consider both sides equally to blame – that’s it’s time they all grew up and began respecting each other’s position?

It’s hardly surprising if you hold either of the above viewpoints. Both Israel and the US have worked hard over the years at suppressing the truth about the conflict. Israel even rewrites its school history books so young Jewish minds are thoroughly medicated, with a sanitized version of Israel’s history.

The truth is somewhat different. There are some Israelis appalled by their nation’s actions against the Palestinians. They are usually secular Jews. Most Israelis, regard the Palestinians as something less than human. For years, their government has forced the Arabs to live like rats in a sewer, eking a living from farming the poor soil, always bowing the knee to their Israeli masters.

The idea of a one, or two, state solution has been played along with for decades. It’s not the intention of Israel to accept either proposition. While US politicians and European governments consistently mouth empty rhetoric, dangling the prospect of a free Palestinian society before Arabs like a carrot just out of reach of the donkey, they turn blind eyes to the interminable encroachment of Israeli “settlements”, as the Jewish nation inexorably expands into the Palestinian territories.

Expansion is the focus of these “Chosen People of Jehovah”. According to their myths and legends the god Jehovah gave them all this land, and it is their right to reclaim it.

Those non-Jews presently living on this “Holy Land” are merely rodents to be exterminated, or driven elsewhere.

So Israeli soldiers use them for target practice, and are captured doing so on video shot by courageous international human rights activists.

One such human rights activist, in a yellow reflective vest, shouts through a megaphone pleading with the Israelis to stop shooting at the unarmed and defenseless Palestinian farmers, desperately trying to harvest their crop of parsley.

In this incident, on February 18th 2009, they shot and wounded a Palestinian farmer in the leg. On January 27th 2009, Israeli soldiers shot and killed a 27 year old, unarmed, Palestinian farmer. Another incident, on February 5th, was also captured on camera. Mercifully, on this occasion, no-one was injured. [see link]^[1]

In all these cases the Palestinians were on their own land, unarmed, creating no provocation, and at least 600 – 700 meters from the Israeli border.

Needless to say, no senior Israeli military officer, nor any government agent, makes any attempt to stop it.

No doubt, to “God’s Chosen People” it’s more fun than a turkey shoot.

^{[1] “Farming under fire” YouTube, February 7th 2009}

^{NOTE: Once again, my thanks go to This Old Brit for providing the links and information.}

Filed under: Israel lies, cameras don’t