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Joyful news! I believe I’ve finally found a church that suits me.

I just love the Amazing Grace Baptist Church of Canton, North Carolina. They have all the best ideas, and the greatest of all is planned to take place this very Halloween. They’re having an enormous bonfire and they’re going to burn – Bibles.

Here’s a quote from their website:

Come to our Halloween book burning. We are burning Satan’s bibles like the NIV, RSV, NKJV, TLB, NASB, NEV, NRSV, ASV, NWT, Good News for Modern Man, The Evidence Bible, The Message Bible, The Green Bible………”

Isn’t that brilliant? At last, a church that is prepared to burn the Bible. Now that’s an establishment I can get along with.

And they’re not going to stop there:

We will also be burning Satan’s music such as country, rap, rock, pop, heavy metal, western, soft and easy, southern gospel, contempory Christian, jazz, soul, oldies but goldies, etc.”

Yes! Thank you, God – let it all go up in flames. Well, perhaps save a bit of jazz, but definitely incinerate that bloody contemporary Christian rubbish. Oh, please!

And there’s more –

We will also be burning Satan’s popular books written by heretics like Westcott & Hort, Bruce Metzger, Billy Graham, Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, John McArthur, James Dobson, Charles Swindoll, John Piper, Chuck Colson, Tony Evans, Oral Roberts, Jimmy Swagart, Mark Driskol, Franklin Graham, Bill Bright, Tim Lahaye, Paula White, T.D. Jakes, Benny Hinn, Joyce Myers, Brian McLaren, Robert Schuller, Mother Teresa, The Pope, Rob Bell, Erwin McManus, Donald Miller, Shane Claiborne, Brennan Manning, William Young, etc.”

Oh, please – please, let me throw all the “Left Behind” books on the bonfire, and anything written by the Pope, Dobson, Billy Graham, or any of the other nutters. Just watch those sparks fly!

But…hang on, what’s this? It says here they’ll not be burning the King James Version, or……

……Bibles written in other languages that are based on the TR. We are not burning the Wycliffe, Tyndale, Geneva or other translations that are based on the TR.”^[1]

Oh, come on, guys, you may as well include them as well; you know, make a real night of it?

No?

Darn! Just for while there, I thought I’d found a purpose-driven life.

^{[1] “Amazing Grace Baptist Church Book Burning” Grand Halloween Event}

^{NOTE: Owing, no doubt, to a counterattack by evil Papist forces, the above link appears to have been sabotaged. For the purpose of substantiation only, please use THIS ONE.}

Filed under: Saints preserve us!

Two totally different news stories caught my eye this week. The first illustrates the total lunacy of America’s obsession with guns. Readers will, no doubt, remember the furore created when mother-of-three, Meleanie Hain, from Pennsylvania turned up at her kids’ football game toting a 9mm Glock handgun in a holster strapped to her waist.

Quite what Mrs Hain expected to achieve by this act of egotistical mania one can only imagine, but the chickens came home to roost with a vengeance this week when husband, Scott Hain, shot his wife to death and then turned the gun on himself.^[1]

The irresponsibility of both adults was compounded by the gun battle occurring while all three of the Hain’s children were in the house. Thankfully, they weren’t physically harmed. Needless to say, they are now orphans.

This incident is yet another example, if it were needed, of the crass stupidity and immaturity of America’s National Rifle Association, which has long campaigned for the carrying of firearms to be legalized, under their infamous and grossly inaccurate slogan: ‘Guns Save Lives’.

Perhaps a more appropriate aphorism might be: ‘He Who Lives By The Gun Shall Perish By The Gun’.

The announcement from Norway this week that US President Barack Obama was to receive the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize came as something of a surprise to many people.

The bewilderment is obvious. This prestigious award is invariably given for achievement, and while many would not question his good intentions, Obama’s efforts towards peace in the world have, as yet, borne little or no fruit. Indeed, if good intention is sufficient to satisfy the wise men of Norway, there are many of us on this planet qualified to wear Alfred Nobel’s gold medal around our necks.

We must, however, have some sympathy for those who have to make these decisions. In today’s violent world it cannot always be easy to find a suitable recipient. If, however, Obama succumbs to the demands of his top Afghanistan adviser, General Stanley McChrystal, and deploys a further 40,000 US troops to that country, then the argument that he is unworthy of the peace prize becomes more tenable.^[2]

To be worthy of the Nobel Peace Prize one must be aware that winning wars is not about peace. Peace is only achieved by avoiding them.

Perhaps, after all, it’s time to consign all prestigious awards to the garbage cans of history. Once, they held a certain aura of dignity, but today’s awards are often based more on ‘prizes for the boys’ rather than genuine achievement.

Nowhere was this more obvious than in New York recently when British Prime Minister, and inept politician, Gordon Brown, was awarded the title, ‘Statesman of the Year’, by a little known Jewish organization calling itself the ‘Appeal of Conscience Foundation’.^[3]

The Foundation hails as one its star members, perhaps the greatest US war criminal ever, Henry Alfred Kissinger.

Kissinger was also a recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, in 1973. An award that caused the well-known musical satirist, Tom Lehrer, to remark:

“Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Prize.”

^{[1] “Gun-Toting Pa. Soccer Mom, Husband Found Dead” KIROTV.Com, October 7/8th 2009}

^{[2] “Why does McChrystal need more troops for Afghanistan?” CSM, September 21st 2009}

^{[3] “Brown World Statesman of the Year” Channel 4 News, September 23rd 2009}

Filed under: Passing Clouds

It not easy to find anything worth writing about these days. If the US citizenry are unable to comprehend the dubious caliber of those they vote into office, even when political corruption jumps out in front of them with the violence of an asteroid striking the planet, then there’s little point wasting my time writing about it.

The political media, whether blogs, newspapers, or TV, are abrim with the despicable behavior of political figures performing top-notch impressions of sleazy, back-street, alley cats. Why, then, should I wear my fingers to the bone bashing out more of the same?

American readers possibly will not comprehend the next few paragraphs; culture may get in the way – but a few days ago, wearing the super-glow-right, florescent, plastic over-vest as demanded by my employer, I walked into the break room at work to be accosted by the union representative.

Did I want a super-fashionable, quilted, winter jacket, emblazoned with the company’s name and logo, to replace my old plastic vest, she asked? I could even have my name etched on the pocket, if I so desired.

After some deliberation, for my super-glow-right, florescent, plastic over-vest and I had formed something of a cozy relationship, I decided to accept the proffered jacket, and to hell with commitment.

“That’ll be just fifty dollars, then,” demanded the union rep..

Even after I, and my super-glow-right, florescent, plastic over-vest had disappeared out the door in the direction of my school bus, I could tell that not one of the Americans in the break room had the faintest idea what was causing me to laugh so loud and for so long.

I give the company fifty bucks to walk around advertising for them? My arse!

I recently met up with a friend who works down the local Social Security office. Over a drink or two, he told me a tale of the ‘BeVe button’*. Apparently, a certain button on the SSA’s computer screens, designed to bring up information on particular clients, when pressed will allocate credits to the office stats. In other words, it’ll make that office appear more efficient than it truly is. Of course, the button was never designed for that purpose, but unscrupulous office managers, wishing to ingratiate themselves with their Area Directors, have been known to issue orders to their staff demanding the button be utilized more freely for that purpose.

My friend, not himself given to cheating, was somewhat put out by the receipt of such a managerial order only that afternoon, and was happy to talk about it – once I’d plied him with half a bottle of the best from Napa Valley.

I was in Wal-Mart this morning. Around here there’s really nowhere else to shop. I always buy organic when its available and Wal-Mart had been improving its range of organic produce, until the recession hit. Today, I couldn’t find one item marked ‘organic’ in the store. Even many of the household names had gone, replaced by Wal-Mart’s own ‘Great Value’ brand.

What’s happened to all the organic food suppliers Wal-Mart has dispensed with?

Huge monopolies like Wal-Mart dictate the terms of business to thousands of producers. With one stroke of a pen they can be put out of business. The ‘climate change’ scenario is being manipulated by Wal-Mart.^[1] That company stands to make further enormous profits from global warming, but at what cost to others?

It’s little wonder the average American finds it difficult to differentiate between corruption and fair play. This country is so steeped in corruption it permeates every aspect of life.

Consequently, even when it does jump out in front them with the violence of an asteroid striking the planet, many of them scarcely notice.

Still, a report today says that is less likely to happen. According to Nasa, any chance that an asteroid called, Apophis, will collide with the Earth in 2036 has now been reduced from 45,000:1, to 250,000:1.^[2]

Which is really good news for betting shops and corrupt politicians everywhere.

^{*I believe it stands for ‘Beneficiary verification’ button.}

^{[1] “Walmart Sustainability Index Means Big Business” GreenBiz.com, September 24th 2009}

^{[2] “Asteroid collision ‘less likely'” BBC, October 8th 2009}

Filed under: Kidding the masses