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A Sinking Theresa May – Are Tory Rats About To Leave?

In the last post I asked, can Theresa May make it three disasters in a row, but like most Brits I hardly expected the U.K. election to be quite such an unholy cock-up for her personally. Still, a disaster for Theresa May has to be a victory for the nation as a whole.

It’s fun to watch the Tory parliamentary rats scurrying around desperately endeavoring to plug holes in the fabric of their morale:

From Theresa May:

“That’s what I’ve been doing today, putting together a cabinet that reflects the wealth of talent and experience across the Conservative party”. [1]

Presumably, then, the cabinet prior to the election was lacking in “a wealth of talent and experience?” Now, who chose that lot? Oh, yes, it was Theresa May.

Meanwhile, David Davis, the “Minister for Leaving The E.U.” (now there’s a job with no long term prospects) was in damage control:

Brexit Secretary David Davis predicted some parts of the Tory manifesto would now have to be “pruned”.
“We have been given an instruction by the British people,” he told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme.

This follows the calling of a crisis meeting by the ‘1922 Committee’ of Tory back bench MPs, demanding to know from Theresa May just what, if anything, she intends to do to salvage the sinking ship.

I think the instruction from the British people, Mister Davis, demands more than simply ‘pruning’ one’s manifesto. Perhaps a direct request to the prime minister to pack her bags and…well, we’ll not use that phrase here…

Yet another Tory rat, Graham Brady, who chairs the 1922 Committee, told the BBC:

…there was “zero appetite” among the public for another election.

Wrong again! If he’d been speaking the truth he’d have said there’s zero appetite among Tory MPs for another election. How can he possibly know the ‘appetite’ of the nation. Personally, I’d love another general election. It would boot May & Co into touch once and for all.

As though to compound her catalogue of errors, Theresa May has just dragged Michael Gove out of his rat hole to be her new environment secretary. Yes, that’s the same man who as education secretary (2010-2014) tried to take climate change off the geography curriculum, and approved licences for three ‘creationist’ schools in the U.K.. Of course, the wealthy ‘gentlemen-farmers’ of England will love Gove. He’ll look after their interests, which have nothing to do with protecting the environment but much to do with protecting the grouse moors.

Through all this Theresa May is spinning her hopes of survival on a pact with the Democratic Unionist Party of Northern Ireland. They hold ten seats in Westminster, and an alliance would give May a majority by just two. To even suggest such an alliance is not only desperation, but a rebuke to the other political parties in the Province.

Whenever there’s a confrontation between Irish nationalists and unionists, it falls to the governments of the U.K. and Eire to intervene and mediate. By even approaching the DUP, May is displaying a bias that could wreck any future mediation attempts. It’s not just an act of political irresponsibility, it’s one that puts her own selfish interests before those of her country.

Meanwhile, the conspiracies rise up and refute their existence. Clown rat Boris Johnson gears up to take command of the Tory ship should a mutinous crew eject the captain from the bridge. “No, no,” cries Johnson, (methinks a little too earnestly), “I urge all Tories to support Theresa May.” It’s the classic cut and thrust of Tory politics – urge support for the leader while keeping the knife just out of sight, ready to stab her in the back. Remember Margaret Thatcher? And then, of course, there’s Boris Johnson himself, neatly skewered between the shoulder blades by his ‘buddy’, Michael Gove, after David Cameron jumped ship.

And why should the U.K. not have Johnson as their prime minister? Don’t they just deserve him? After all, when they leave the E.U., America will be their major business partner. There could be a Clown Rat in charge on both sides of the Atlantic.

[1[ “Theresa May: ‘Cabinet that reflects wealth of talent'” BBC, June 11th 2017

Brexit, Trump, Can Theresa May Make It Three Disasters In A Row?

Today, The British go to the polls. Their vote will decide whether their future lies in the rather bleak, isolationist, world being prepared for them by Theresa May and her team, a world very much under the spell of Donald Trump and his insane policies, or, a move back to a saner, more equal world where nations cooperate and work together.

No-one in their right mind could really suggest that Jeremy Corbyn, the leader of the Labour Party, is the most charismatic politician of the day, but he does appear to have that one quality lacking in virtually every modern politician – sincerity. One is left with the feeling he truly cares about ordinary people. Can the same be said for Theresa May?

To describe May as a ‘cold fish’ is sufficient to cause any occupant of a fishmonger’s slab to rise up in fury and demand instant apology. Every word she utters sounds like it’s been torn from the pages of a ‘How To Succeed In Politics By being A Hard-Boiled Bitch’ manual, probably written by Margaret Thatcher in her more senile years. There’s not even a hint of sincerity in her oft-repeated soundbites, and the phrase “strong and stable government” has been used by her so many times in the past few weeks she may even be coming to believe it herself.

It’s likely the Tories will be returned to government. There are sufficient folk in the U.K. doing very nicely under their rule to vote them in again (see: “Spare A Thought For Those Who Drive These…” Sparrow Chat, May 19th 2017).

Sadly, there’s even more doing very badly, and if they all got together and voted according to common sense, May and her tribe would be down the road. It’s not likely to happen, though. Enough of the ‘great unwashed’, as they’re known in right-wing political circles, have been persuaded Brussels is to blame for their plight, Brexit will solve all their problems, and May & Co are the folk who’ll bring it about.

It’s a sad fact of life that those most in need of a more left-wing, socialist, approach to politics will likely prove the very crux of voters who’ll prevent it coming about. It happened with Brexit, it happened with the U.S. election of Donald Trump, and it will most likely happen again today in Britain.

We live in hope, with despair hovering like a Sword of Damocles in the background.

Who’s First For The Funny Farm – May Or Trump?

Well, you didn’t want to see yet another image of ugly old Theresa May, did you? So, instead, here’s a picture of a NICE girl.

Three terrorist attacks in three months have proved a breaking point for Theresa May, Britain’s prime minister. How dare they create chaos and mayhem during HER election campaign. “Enough is enough!” she exclaimed this morning, after chairing a meeting of the fabulously ineffective COBRA committee – the third emergency meeting in three months, each one following a terrorist attack, when they meet to discuss how best to appear to be taking action while actually taking none at all. [1]

Suffice to say May’s ejaculation was sufficient to send hundreds of British jihadists scurrying to the ports and airports, hellbent on escaping the country before she can vent her wrath further upon them. No? Well, perhaps not?

Not content with enough being enough, May then attacked the internet companies for allowing these jihadist swine to communicate with each other so easily, totally ignoring how the IRA managed to communicate quite well using a technological device known in those bygone days as a ‘telephone’.

Next from May came the predicted, “….we need tougher prison sentences…” One can only assume she intends to stack the terrorist’s corpses in a prison freezer, given that none of the attackers survived from any of the three incidents. Someone should really inform her the whole purpose of these jihadists is to die at the scene of their carnage, otherwise they’ll never be able to claim their seventy-odd virgins, and instead have to bow to Satan’s crooked finger. Perhaps, if the police weren’t quite so quick to kill them, they could spend the rest of their lives in jail, thus having ample time to rue their lost virgins and face a bleak eternity being slow-roasted by Old Nick?

That would probably prove an even greater deterrent than Theresa May’s, “Enough is enough!”

Meanwhile, across the pond, the White House’s latest occupant seems on the verge of total madness. It’s really not difficult to picture Donald Trump being led away, straitjacketed, by men in white coats while he alternates between mumbling, “Covafefe rules; I love Covafefe; give me more Covafefe…” and repeated phrases of, “Make America Great Again,” sung inharmoniously to the tune of the “Star Spangled Banner.”

No, this is not Donald Trump as a kid, this is a NICE boy

It’s been going wrong for some time – well, quite a long time, actually – but the final straw was that darned Paris Climate Agreement. What was he supposed to do? He only told that story to a bunch of ne’er-do-wells – you know, the one about China spreading the rumour – to get them to vote for him. Then, once he was made president Ivanka told him it was all true and climate change was actually happening. What WAS he supposed to do? He’d lose credibility if he admitted he’d been wrong. He might have to publicly apologise to China. No, that would never do. He’d just pull the plug on the Paris agreement and that would be that. But now, that idiot U.N. Ambassador Nicki Hayley has gone and told everyone the truth…and the Wall Street Journal’s printed it! [2]

“Make America Great Again…la,la,la…Make America Great Again…la,la,la…I love Covafefe…”.

One final look back at the front door of the White House, the newly-inaugurated President Pence grinning broadly as he waves him goodbye, and it’s, “Come on now, Mister Trump, jump into the van and we’ll soon have you settled in your new home.”

[1] “Theresa May says ‘enough is enough’ after seven killed in London Bridge attack” Guardian, June 4th 2017

[2] “Trump Believes Climate Change Is Real, U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley Says” WSJ, June 3rd 2017

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