Recently, a blogger friend bared her soul and wrote of sexual abuses she endured at various stages of her life, most occurring before she reached the age of consent.
Comments to the article came thick and fast – all, bar two, from women.
General consensus was that a majority of young girls endure some degree of sexual abuse prior to adulthood. Discussion centered around support and assistance; much was rightly made of the unsympathetic, or even disbelieving, attitude of parents and church. Nothing was forthcoming on the men responsible, or why they succumbed to such anti-social behavior.
Society has coined many terms to describe human males who attempt to indulge in sexual activity with unwilling females: perverts, pedophiles, sex-offenders, monsters, etc., but little is known, or at least discussed openly, of the mindset triggering the action.
Is it a disease, a mental disorder, or even, as some would have us believe, possession by the Devil?
To suggest sexual interference with young girls (or, in some cases, boys) is normal, would cause the coffee cups to rattle in every good Christian household in America, but it is a fact. Or, perhaps, a more precise term than ‘normal’, would be ‘natural’.
How many times have we heard the phrase, “Men are animals,” usually when discussion among women turns to more risque matters. It’s the plain truth. Women are also animals, but behave in a manner more conducive to the female of a species, responding to the advances of a male only when she is ready to mate.
“Can I eat it? Can it eat me? Can I mate with it?” The three basic responses instinctive in every male creature on the planet.
In the human male, the first two have become modified: “Can I win if I fight it, or will it beat me?” (Fight or flight). The third response, though deliberately and often violently suppressed over many generations, has altered hardly at all. It’s still as active as ever. Even a male’s ability to differentiate between the sexes can often lose out to this response. How many men have had the experience of being ‘turned-on’ by a comely, long-haired, figure with a cute butt walking away from them, only to wince with embarrassment when a lanky, hippie-style, male turns around?
Society insists that our female offspring should not be considered sexually attractive to the opposite sex until they reach the age of consent. We are disgusted when underage girls are seduced by older men. Yet, we do our utmost to make them look like alluring young women by dressing them in fancy clothes, even make-up, often from soon after babyhood.
Most men, when asked if they find little girls sexually attractive, would respond with a quite emphatic, “No!”
Believe it or not, they’re lying.
If they told the truth, they’d say, “Yes, but I prevent that thought from developing. I put it out of my head and allow a warm glow of affection for the child to replace it.”
Every man is subject to the instinctive sexual response mentioned above, and that includes welfare workers, policemen, and clergymen – even Roman Catholic priests, as we know very well. Men, generally, find young female children sexually interesting, even though they will refuse to admit it, sometimes even to themselves.
The problem stems not so much from the sexual instincts of the male, as from continuous attempts by society to suppress it. Throughout history, society and the churches have successfully turned the natural sexual feelings of both sexes into something evil, “dirty”, to be avoided at all costs. This has resulted in confusion as to how we’re supposed to feel. Thoughts, which of themselves seem pleasing and innocent, are condemned as immoral, ungodly, and sinful.
Nowhere has this suppression been more fervent than with male masturbation.
Recently, Sparrow Chat published an article on male circumcision.[1] In the 17th – 18th centuries, this painful, disfiguring, operation was performed on young children solely for the purpose of preventing masturbation. Yet masturbation is a wonderful safety valve for male sexual frustrations. Nature’s desire to reproduce is probably the strongest instinct experienced by the human male. Spermatic ejaculation shuts down the desire most effectively, if only temporarily. Regular spermatic ejaculation, by masturbation, helps maintain that instinct at a controllable level, one less likely to erupt into violent, forceful, behavior like sexual assault or rape.
It’s probably hard for some women to accept, particularly those who’ve fallen victim, but in most instances the average ‘flasher’, ‘groper’, or bottom pincher is just an ordinary man whose desires momentarily get the better of him. Society loves to paint these people as slinking in the darkness like hyenas seeking out easy prey. Mostly, that isn’t true.
Serial rapists and vicious child molesters, of course, are in a whole different category. When sexual desire is so out of control that the victim is violently attacked, sometimes murdered, the only solution is one of long incarceration.
There can be few situations more frightening for a female than to be in the presence of a male, or males, intent on sexual molestation. Unfortunately, in the throes of strong sexual desire, the male will find it extremely difficult to comprehend his advances are not welcomed:
“She wants it. You can tell she wants it!” This, despite blatantly obvious reactions to the contrary from the female.
Nowhere was this more clearly demonstrated than in the recent case of Josef Fritzel, the Austrian man who kept his daughter captive for years, raped her regularly, but suffered no sense of remorse until it was forcibly brought home to him, by her sudden appearance in the courthouse, just how vilely he had treated her.
We prefer to forget our instincts. We like to believe we’re above such base emotions. Some churches still teach that we don’t have any, that we’re not part of the animal life on this planet, but a separate, divine, creation. Of course, the churches are wrong. Our instincts are as strong as they’ve ever been and the worst thing we can do is attempt to suppress them. By accepting them as part of our lives we can better understand them, and by so doing more easily control and harness them.
There can never be any excuse for forcing one’s sexual attentions on another. Men are capable of controlling their instinctive behavior, even harnessing it for positive purposes. Response to the sexuality of a small female child can be diverted into feelings of warm, protective, affection. It’s what most men do automatically, though it can become less readily redirected as the child approaches puberty and womanhood.
A momentary loss of control, coupled with confused feelings created by the society we live in, are usually all it takes to produce a situation capable of causing a lifetime of hurt to the victim, and often years of guilt for the perpetrator.
Instinct is all most animals need. Humans found their sexual instincts overlaid by another system, one much more confusing at best, and made more so by our inability as a species to come to terms with it.
A perfect example of this can be found today in the United States, where an art channel on cable television still digitally fuzzes out female nipples when screening certain Botticelli paintings.
[1] “A Snip At Two Hundred And Fifty Dollars?” Sparrow Chat, March 28th 2009
Filed under: Blowing away the dust
