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With the advent of Christmas upon us, or, as our American cousins prefer to call it, the “Holiday Season”, absurdity shines all around, much as did the “glory” in that well known Christmas carol.

Nowhere is this more evident than outside the multitude of churches dotted all over the American heartlands. Two, that I pass each day, are particularly nonsensical.

Jesus Is The Reason For The Season.”

If you live anywhere within the area proudly designated as ‘America’s Bible Belt’, you’ll be familiar with this one. It’s as common as a Chicago street corner Santa on Christmas Eve.

Of course, it’s utterly inaccurate. The season is winter; the festival Yuletide; the reason is the Equinox. Jesus is no more the reason for the season than Tiger’s antics in the whore parlor form the basis of his golfing prowess.

Further down the road is another neon-illuminated bit of religious nonsense that declares:

The Most Precious Gift To Mankind Was Wrapped In A Manger.”

Now I’m aware that Joseph was billed as a carpenter, and would probably have been artistic with wood. But, given that Miriam-Webster defines a “Manger” as: ‘a trough or open box in a stable designed to hold feed or fodder for livestock’, I doubt even he could have successfully redesigned a feed trough as a wrap-around cot for his new infant in the time available.

Perhaps ‘swaddling clothes’ was just too many words to fit on the billboard?

Seasonal absurdity is not, however, confined to the religious institutions of this great country. While making one of my less-and-less frequent visits to our local Walmart this week, I remembered the need to purchase Christmas cards, for friends and relatives back in the old country.

Fighting my way through all the trite religious crap on the shelf, a rather pleasant looking pack was noted, with male and female Red Cardinals not too distastefully displayed on the front. Eighteen cards for five dollars seemed a fair price, so eager to escape this depressing superstore, I threw the box in the cart and headed for the checkout.

Yesterday, I sat down to write my cards only to find they were totally unsuitable for the purpose.

Why?

The cards themselves were fine. The envelopes were dark green. In artificial light they looked black. It was impossible to address them with a normal pen. The whole box went in the fire.

They weren’t even “Great Value!”

I suppose some people would think them ‘cool’, or ‘fashionable’. No doubt, somewhere in the depths of its display cabinets, Walmart sells a pen containing white ink.

It is depressing to consider that, if the human species weren’t so gullible, we wouldn’t have to put up with all this absurdity designed to relieve us of our hard earned cash. Marketing ploys only last so long as they work.

Absurdity pays.

Filed under: The conman cometh

The belief systems of Western leaders, in particular those of the United States, are difficult to fathom. Any semblance of commonsense is masked behind indoctrinated arrogance, totally blinding the owners to obvious flaws in their thinking.

It’s as though they’ve drawn all their reasoning from re-runs of Mickey Mouse cartoons, or the early animated feature films of Walt Disney.

Take U.S. General Stanley McChrystal as, perhaps, the perfect example.

McChrystal is peeved he hasn’t been able to get his hands on Osama bin Laden. The al Qaeda leader is obviously a thorn in the American general’s side. McChrystal’s cap would gain a very exotic feather were he to apprehend America’s No 1 enemy, and the general can’t resist talking about bin Laden at every opportunity.

Giving testimony to the U.S Congress recently, General McChrystal told them:

I don’t think that we can finally defeat al-Qaeda until he [bin Laden] is captured or killed. I believe he is an iconic figure at this point, whose survival emboldens al-Qaeda as a franchising organisation across the world.”^[1]

The US ambassador to Afghanistan, Karl Eikenberry, supported this view, stating the capture or killing of bin Laden was key to stabilizing Afghanistan:

[It’s]……important to the American people – indeed, the people of the world – that one day Osama Bin Laden is either captured or killed, brought to justice”.

Can these people, living in their high-powered isolation from real life, truly believe the eradication of one man will cause the whole structure of al Qaeda to collapse? Have they no idea what it is these people are fighting for? We may not approve of their bloody methods, their contempt for innocent lives, but their cause is as real to the members of al Qaeda as McChrystal’s and Eikenberry’s are to them and their political bosses.

The U.S. military high command appears to think it’s fighting some medieval-style war. Kill the enemy’s king and you’ve won the day. Osama bin Laden is more than a leader, or king, to al Qaeda. He’s a figurehead. One day he’ll be their greatest martyr. It matters not whether he dies in his bed; from a U.S. sniper’s bullet, or rots in an American jail. Except that, in either of the latter cases, retribution may be far more traumatic than ever was 9/11.

Why does Karl Eikenberry believe it’s “important to the people of the world” that this man is eradicated? It’s not important to me. Why is bin Laden so ‘under the skin’ of most Americans? George Bush and Co blamed him for 9/11. Later, everyone from the CIA upwards screamed that Kalid Sheikh Mohammed was the mastermind behind those attacks. Perhaps bin Laden is important to Americans today for the same reason Saddam Hussein was in 2003?

America needs its whipping boys.

The very large number of affiliated Muslim groups that make up al Qaeda are fighting to prevent any further spread of American imperialism across their lands. Osama bin Laden has always maintained that. His primary battle was originally with the Saudi rulers for, as he saw it, desecrating holy lands by allowing American troops to be stationed there. That battlefront has grown broader over the years.

Osama bin Laden cannot live forever. His death, by whatever means, will initially turn him into a Muslim martyr; as years go by he’ll become a legend, maybe even, eventually, another Muslim prophet. Al Qaeda will continue, and feed off his memory, just as it draws succor from the man today.

U.S. General Stanley McChrystal, and US ambassador to Afghanistan, Karl Eikenberry, are living their own little dreams, where America is the good fairy of the world, and any opposition can only come from the wicked witches.

But, what’s wrong with that, you may ask? After all, it worked well for Walt Disney.

^{[1] “Gen McChrystal: Bin Laden is key to al-Qaeda defeat” BBC December 9th 2009}

Filed under: Wishing on a star

You have to hand it to the state of Ohio. They’ve finally come into modernity. No longer any nasty triple-injection executions for them. Ohio is now using Sodium Thiopental (otherwise known as Sodium Pentobarbitone, trade names – Nembutal, Euthatal) to see off their unwanted criminals.

I used Euthatal for years. Not personally, on myself, you’ll understand. Part of the more unpleasant side of working with animals was the occasional need for euthanasia. Euthatal provides a painless descent into death through anesthesia. Administered correctly, into a vein, it only takes two or three seconds to do its work. I’ve known owners regard me in amazement as their beloved old dog or cat stared lifelessly back at them, and ask incredulously, “Has he gone?”

When an animal dies so peacefully that its owner doesn’t even notice it passing, that’s humane enough for me.

I don’t care to dwell on the large number of creatures British society caused me to execute. The aged, terminally ill, or severely injured, never caused any qualms. The abandoned, unwanted, otherwise fit and healthy, always left a nasty taste in the mouth. Far more than if I’d euthanized their owners.

Intravenous injection is not for the inexperienced. If you’ve ever been to the lab of your local hospital when the technician who takes your blood sample is suffering an off-day, you’ll know what I mean. And compared to a dog, or cat, human beings have big veins.

While in my late teens, I joined the staff of Liverpool University’s Veterinary Anatomy department as an animal technician. My job was to care for the laboratory animals used in what is frequently referred to today as ‘vivisection’. Then, it was veterinary research.

Government policy demanded all animals used for research be euthanized once the experiment was concluded. Part of my job was to end their lives with the least suffering possible.

Rabbits were often used for research, and the most convenient area for injection was in the ear. As there’s little fur on the underside of a rabbit’s ear, it was easy to see the vein even though it’s not much thicker than a human hair. We used ultra-fine needles, and I soon became adept at this delicate task, rarely missing or blowing a vein.

Euthatal is used by veterinarians regularly for every creature from a mouse to a horse. Each will respond quickly to the drug, though the amounts required to be administered vary, of course. A mouse requires less than one milliliter, a horse anything up to one hundred milliliters. Frankly, I’m wary of using it on a horse that’s still standing. The carotid vein in the neck is standard for injection, and a horse will invariably fall forwards as it loses consciousness, likely taking you with it. Most veterinarians opt for shooting.

It was with some concern, then, that I read of the recent Ohio execution of 51 year old Kenneth Biros.

According to the BBC website:

The total process of Biros’ execution lasted for about 43 minutes, AP said, adding that the execution team took about 30 minutes to find a suitable vein for the insertion of the needle.”^[1]

Caring, is perhaps the most important quality needed by anyone handling a syringe. That, and lots of practice. It’s not difficult to become skilled with a hypodermic, ask any heroin addict, but aptitude rapidly fades when caring for the patient diminishes.

Did anyone care about Kenneth Biros? No-one seems to question why it took so long for him to die:

Biros was pronounced dead about 10 minutes after the injection was administered, the Associated Press news agency reports.” [my italics]

Why does it take a man ten minutes to die, when a horse can be euthanized in under one minute?

Could the fact that doctors are not allowed to perform the procedure on death-row prisoners have something to do with it?

Some years ago, a colleague and dear friend ‘borrowed’ a drip stand and bag, and one hundred milliliters of Euthatal, from the animal hospital where he worked. That night he settled himself in his armchair, wrote a short poem detailing why he was leaving this earth, and inserted the drip needle into a vein in his wrist. He was dead when found the next morning.

Back in July 2008, ABC News ran an article entitled, “Tourists Trek to Mexico for ‘Death in a Bottle'”. The journalists accompanied an Australian man, Don Flounders, as he and his wife traveled to Mexico. Flounders had advanced mesothelioma, and no wish to die a miserable, lingering, death. He went to Mexico to buy Euthatal on the black market, illegal without veterinarian prescription in both America and Australia .^[2]

Given the facts, perhaps its time America curtailed its bloodlust for criminal executions. It’s proved time and time again how inept it is at carrying them out in any but a grossly inhumane fashion.

Given the facts, perhaps its time America made it easier, for those who need the means to end their own lives should terminal illness make it unbearable, to obtain that means without recourse to a black market in Mexican drugs the U.S. federal government arrogantly condemns.

Meanwhile, Ohio continues with the struggle to justify its wrongs, by trying to make them appear right.

^{[1] “Ohio carries out first US execution by single injection” BBC, December 8th 2009}

^{[2] “Tourists Trek to Mexico for ‘Death in a Bottle'” ABC News, July 31st 2008}

Filed under: Inhumane euthanasia