Wolf-Nipple Chips, Anyone? *

There’s been a G8 summit. Has anyone noticed? It was billed as the most important G8 ever, which is hardly surprising when a global recession means the rich and powerful have to tighten their belts and cut back on the caviar. That’s bad news, especially for their personal cardiologists.

Still, hard times just around the corner is reason enough for splashing out on a darned good nosh, and that’s exactly what our esteemed leaders masticated their way through this week in Japan.

Lunch was a mere four courses (asparagus and truffle soup, crab and supreme of chicken served with nuts and beetroot foam, followed by a cheese selection, peach compote, milk ice-cream and coffee with petits fours) helped down with lashings of Chateau-Grillet 2005 (presently on offer by the Sunday Times Wine Club at $193 a bottle, though that’s certainly a member price).

The dinner menu comprised aperitifs of ‘corn stuffed with caviar, smoked salmon and sea urchin, hot onion tart and winter lily bulb’, followed by diced fatty tuna fish, avocado and jellied soy sauce, and pickled conger eel with soy sauce. The main course featured a selection of ‘milk-fed lamb, roasted lamb with cepes, and black truffle with emulsion sauce’, followed by ‘a “fantasy” dessert, a special cheese selection accompanied by lavender honey and caramelized nuts, while coffee came with candied fruits and vegetables.’[1]

Following the dinner, British prime minister Gordon Brown announced Britons must stop wasting food, as it had become far to precious a commodity to be thrown away.[2] This was shortly after attempting to dance the conga with Angela Merkel, but prior to belching the host-nation’s national anthem in the Japanese prime minister’s left ear. That feat failed to arouse the acclaim of other world leaders who were outside cheering on Italian premier Silvio Berlusconi as he chased George W Bush around the gardens, brandishing a Samurai sword and threatening to sever George from his manhood for daring to label him a ‘despicable political amateur’.[3]

It took a full week of wine-drinking before they could agree on global warming, though commentators concur it resulted in only one more of many short, hesitant, steps in the right direction.

It’s not a problem, though.

All that’s needed is for someone to talk the planet into slowing climate change to a more leisurely pace, so that our esteemed leaders may have a chance to catch up.

*Apologies to Monty Python.

[1] “Just two of the 19 dishes ………” Guardian, July 8th 2008

[2] “Stop wasting food, Brown urging” BBC, July 7th 2008

[3] “Bush sorry over Berlusconi insult” BBC, July 8th 2008

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5 Replies to “Wolf-Nipple Chips, Anyone? *”

  1. I’m catching up with you, RJA.
    I can’t believe the food (I’ve been writing about the downside of food)these leaders have been ingesting. With the very real possibility of famine and chronic shortage looming.
    Alternative universe, of course.
    And your post of yesterday mentions the anti-cholestorol drugs for children. Like the cigarette manufacturers, always looking for younger customers.
    It is so frightening that so many are so removed from reality.

  2. WWW – I’ve been reading your ‘food’ posts. As for reality – does it truly exist anymore?

    Flimsy – sometimes the truth requires crudity.

    Twilight – they justify it because they are the leaders, and will consequently be the saviors, of the world. At least, in their own hypocritical realities.

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