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A Bit Of Anglo-French Entente Cordiale?

This is the Atlantic Ocean:

atlantic_ocean

It’s large. In fact, it’s very, very, large. The Atlantic Ocean covers over 41 million square miles of the Earth’s surface.

This is the Atlantic Ocean with a nuclear-armed submarine highlighted.

atlantic_ocean_with_submarine

Even though it may be on the surface, cruising at about eighteen knots, unfortunately, you won’t actually be able to see it. It’s way, way, too small.

This is an image of the Earth, showing rather a lot of orbiting satellites, put there specifically to aid communications and navigation.

orbiting_satellites

Despite the Atlantic Ocean being so very, very, large, and even though a nuclear submarine is really very tiny by comparison; notwithstanding 17,000 satellites zooming around above our heads designed to prevent it happening, earlier this month, this……

04BST132CC03

……managed to collide with, this……

vanguard

……in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.[1]

And neither even knew the other was there.

Given the payload carried by both vessels, it does little to inspire confidence.

[1] “Nuclear subs collide in Atlantic” BBC, February 16th 2009

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Valentine’s Day Massacre

Only the four younger members of the Roberts’ family still ride School Bus 13. Cordell Roberts and his three older brothers were banned by the school principal a few weeks ago, after a fight erupted between them while on the way home one afternoon, causing the bus driver to turn his vehicle around and return to the school.

The cause of the fracas was never established, though according to the other kids, Oakley Canton was the prime suspect. Oakley refused to incriminate herself, hitched up her cushion-stuffed brassiere and sat staring vacantly into space from the long bench outside the school building where sat the busload of kids, squirming as the driver harangued them on the correct behavior of young people when commuting in a moving bus, and how he’d been in zoos where the inmates displayed better manners.

Eventually, the school principal summoned the Roberts’ family parents to collect the offenders, innocents were allowed to re-board the vehicle, and the journey home was completed without further disaster. Apart, that is, from one little second-grader, Selena Astlik, who accidentally emptied a whole bottle of bright red nail varnish onto the seat occupied by Nicholas Lilly, just as he was leaning across the aisle, attempting to deprive Quinton Long of his yo-yo.

Nicholas, bully-boy tactics rewarded, played happily in his seat with the yo-yo, until, on reaching his stop he attempted to alight from the bus. The driver, aware of the boy’s penchant for vacant amnesia, yelled at him to hurry up, but Nicholas continued to sit with a puzzled expression on his face, making occasional wriggling motions with his hips.

Following another tirade from the driver, and dire threats of referrals if Nicholas didn’t “shift yourself”, the lad wrenched himself free from the offending nail varnish, leaving a bright red stain and a goodly portion of trouser behind him.

Today was the last day of school prior to Valentine’s Day and a four day holiday weekend. Over and above the usual cacophony of shrieks, insults, and occasional foul language – “Any more of THAT, Jethro, and it’ll be a referral for you, lad!” – was a buzz of expectation, as today was the school’s Valentine’s Day party. The bus groaned with a ton of goodies packed in thirty-odd Wal-Mart carrier bags. Each parent had recklessly endeavored to outdo every other parent, and kids staggered onto the bus laden down with enough sugar to keep Anheuser-Busch in business for the next twelve months.

The driver made a mental note to stock up on sick bags between shifts.

The afternoon home run was pandemonium. Even without the elder Roberts’s, and Oakley Canton – who’d been suspended for three days for calling Jethro Roberts a name his mother wouldn’t recognize – thirty-odd sugar-crazed kids high on artificial additives, are any driver’s nightmare.

Finally, the last kid was dropped off, the last schoolbag flung out the door at the child who had forgotten it, and the driver could return the bus to the depot and clean up the plethora of semi-chewed candy and trodden-in cookies that littered the floor; the assortment of multicolored, half-licked, lollipops by now firmly adhered to seatbacks and cushions.

Ah, well, the four day break would be welcome. And, after all, they were only kids.

For those who missed them, earlier tales of “School Bus 13” are available HERE [The Saga Of School Bus 13] and HERE [All For The Want Of A Child’s Handkerchief].

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Lonesome George And The Race To Space

Two rather depressing news items burst onto our screens recently. Initially, neither one appeared to bear any relationship to the other.

The first concerned two man-made satellites in earth orbit that collided, spreading space debris over a a wide area.[1]

Even that doesn’t seem too great a disaster. No lives were lost; one satellite (Russian) is believed to have been defunct, the other (US), is part of a group of sixty-six operated by Iridium Satellite LLC, a communications company.

This is the first collision between two intact satellites, but it’s unlikely to be the last:

orbiting_satellites

To date, around 17,000 man-made objects are orbiting the Earth, but more are joining them, in ever increasing numbers.

This is Lonesome George:

lonesome_george

Lonesome George is so-called because he is the last remaining Giant Tortoise of his sub-species. He lives on the Galapagos Islands, is around eighty years old, and when he dies there will never again be any Pinta tortoises of the sub-species Geochelone abigdoni – anywhere.

George and his fellow Pintas were specific to Galapagos, like so many of the various species of animal and bird life still to be found there, but human intervention has done for the Pintas, and other species are following suit at an alarming rate.

Take a moment to consider these two news stories, and study the accompanying images. Hopefully, it won’t take too long before you recognize there is a relationship between them – and the one factor that irrefutably links them together.

[1] “Sat collision highlights growing threat” BBC, February 12th 2009

[2] “Meet the world’s rarest tortoise” BBC, February 10th 2009

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