sparrow chat

If there’s one thing you can rely on from the Pope, it’s to spread the message of Christmas throughout the world at this time of year. Of all the clerics, surely this so-called ‘shepherd of his flock’ is the worst Christian ever to don a holy robe?

In a speech to senior Vatican staff yesterday, Benedict XVI stated his belief that homosexual and transsexual behavior could lead to the self destruction of the human race, and saving humanity from such action was, he stated, “as important as saving the rain forests.” ^[1]

Frankly, most sane human beings would consider the escalation of nuclear armaments, the proliferation of wars, rapidly increasing areas of famine throughout the world, vastly shifting power-ratios between rich and poor, the ravishing of the world’s economy, and the ever-increasing threat from religiously-inspired terrorism, to be somewhat more likely reasons for the destruction of humanity than a couple of gays making out in downtown San Francisco.

The pope, it appears, is an exception to the rule. That’s fine. After all he’s entitled to his opinion. As the leader and appointed soothsayer to God knows how many of the faithful, however, his narrow-minded beliefs are almost as dangerous as any one of the threats listed above.

After all, there are millions of people worldwide quite happy to accept his mutterings as gospel, if for no better reason than it saves them the problem of cranking up their brains and thinking for themselves.

As an aside during the same address, Popey mentioned the Catholic church’s World Youth Day held in Sydney, Australia, earlier this year. He expressed concern that it was depicted as a spectacle – a, “variant of modern youth culture, as a kind of ecclesiastical rock festival with the Pope as the star.” This was wrong, he said, it should be viewed as the fruition of a “long exterior and interior path.”

Sorry, Popey, it was an ecclesiastical rock festival with you as the star. It was depicted as such because that’s exactly what it was. Believe me, I’ve been to a few rock festivals in my time and the only exception with yours, was that you’re bloody useless on guitar.

Personally, I’d have preferred Elton John – but, oh no, in your eyes he’s more dangerous to the human race than global warming, nuclear annihilation, and mass starvation all rolled into one.

It’d be fun to be around to see the faces of these religious idiots when they finally discover, once and for all, that “Heaven” doesn’t exist.

Frankly, if the rest of the human race continue to soak up their pathetic utterances as sacrosanct, that time may not be long away.

^{[1] “Pope attacks blurring of gender” BBC, December 23rd 2008}

Filed under: Love thy neighbor

Posted under Sparrow Chat

Two items merited attention on the NBC Nightly News tonight, due entirely to the contrast between them. The first was a last ditch attempt by that wealthy scumbag presently occupying the White House, at salvaging something of his presidential legacy by offering a financial carrot worth around $17.5 billion to a terminally sick donkey, long abused and starved of sustenance by its masters to the point it will soon require euthanasia, and masquerading as the US motor industry.

American vehicles have long been viewed as tat by the rest of the world. Outdated, cheaply-made, prone to failure, and totally out of their league among the more sophisticated European and Japanese vehicles available, one only has to hear the experts’ opinions on products from the US motor industry to realize how grossly left behind by the rest of the planet this industry has become over the last twenty years.

Had the senior management of Chrysler and GM bothered to look beyond their own borders during the eighties and nineties they would have seen the R&D being pumped into Volkswagon, Toyota, Honda, Citroen, and other manufacturers. Instead, they sat on their buttocks and filled their pockets with cash that might have been better used funding similar technologies, rather than supporting the private jets and high-flying lifestyles of top executives.

Does George W Bush seriously believe $17.5 billion will save this dinosaur industry? Possibly, he’s stupid and arrogant enough to imagine himself saving GM at its last gasp, like some aging North American Saint George rescuing the damsel from the jaws of the dragon. Unfortunately, in this case the damsel’s already been eaten and the bones regurgitated.

The British motor industry suffered a similar fate twenty years ago after the government of the day poured billions of pounds into British Leyland in a vain attempt to keep it afloat. It’s demise was due to exactly similar circumstances as that of Chrysler and GM today – a senior management team that couldn’t organize a piss-up in a brewery, let alone run a major industry. Ironically, British Leyland lost out to the more advanced Ford and Vauxhall (GM produced) vehicles of the day.

The biggest stink, and the one most motivating to British politicians of the time, concerned the thousands of BL production staff who would be thrown out of work if the industry was allowed to die. It did die, and they were left jobless, but government retraining schemes meant most found work in other sectors. That’s what must happen in the US today. As green technologies gain ground in the marketplace, ex-carworkers can be trained to fill the many jobs created by these new industries.

To use life-support on a patient already dead reveals the stupidity of a president who insists that throwing money at an extinct dinosaur in the hope of making it breathe again is the ‘responsible’ thing to do. Of course, it has nothing at all to do with responsibility, but a great deal to do with one man’s over-inflated ego.

The second item from NBC Nightly News was more heartrending. It revealed some of the letters received by the US post office during its annual ‘Dear Santa’ campaign, and by so doing laid bare the heart of American poverty. When tiny kids ask Santa for clothes to keep them warm, and anguished mothers beg money to provide a meal for their child at Christmas, it not only tugs at the heartstrings, but exposes the true hypocrisy of that great marketing ploy, the ‘American Dream’.

Maybe there was a time when the ‘American Dream’ was more than hype, though delving through history fails to unearth it, but the last eight years has seen such a decline in this nation’s fortunes that the legacy of George W Bush will never be saved by postponing the demise of the car industry. His is a legacy of economic catastrophe, of millions thrown into poverty both at home and abroad; his is a legacy of five million orphans in Iraq and countless numbers of children brought to suffering in America.

George W Bush was happy to dip into this nation’s coffers to the tune of $700 billion for the purpose of saving his buddies in the banking industry, and now at Chrysler and GM. He was happy to spend a trillion dollars destroying a Middle Eastern nation, and unnecessarily slaughtering over four thousand Americans in the process.

If there’s one thing George W Bush can do well it’s spend money. Unfortunately, what he chose to spend it on has been highly detrimental to those people he was supposed to represent. What a different, and better, country this would be if he’d chosen to spend it ensuring American kids had warm clothes in the winter, and American mothers could afford at least one meal for their child at Christmas.

Filed under: Political scumbags

Posted under Sparrow Chat

Have you ever thought about dying? No, really, it’s not that I don’t like you, but we do tend to shy away from dwelling on the inevitable, ignoring the fact that it’s practical to make early arrangements for when one’s demise eventually transpires, and much easier for our loved ones to cope with.

Of course, if our relatives do make any mistakes with the funeral arrangements, they can always give us a call afterward to sort it out.

Now, if that last paragraph leaves you scratching your head in confusion you’re obviously not part of the techno-savvy generation, who are quick to ensure their cellphone is well charged and in their best suit pocket prior to the earthy sod being finally placed over them.

It’s all in an article by Diane Mapes on MSNBC.Com yesterday, entitled, “Bury me with my cell phone,” – along with a brilliant cartoon by Duane Hoffman.^[1] Apparently, more and more people are insisting on taking their cellphone with them on their final journey into the Great Beyond.

It’s not that folks still harbor the old fear of being buried alive, it’s more along the lines of the ancient Egyptians or Vikings, who had their most precious possessions buried with them. Nowadays, of course, it’s not considered seemly to demand the wife, or mistress, be interred along with hubby, and they’d probably object, so I suppose a cellphone is the next best thing.

Funeral directors are keen to point out this is only an option for burials. Cremations and cellphones don’t mix. The batteries have a habit of exploding in the furnace and, well, it can make a terrible mess. They’ll happily drop the phone into the urn, once the ashes have cooled, for a small additional fee.

There is, of course, the question of pollution to be considered. Modern electronic gadgetry is not renowned for its greenness. Phones contain all sorts of nasty chemicals and heavy metals that would wreak havoc on the environment if we all insisted on taking our iPhones on that final journey.

And who’s to say it would stop there? I’d quite like my laptop, and there’s always one idiot who’ll insist he’s just not going if he can’t take his new, fifty-two inch, Sony flat screen, with the home theater surround sound and three ‘Mighty Mountain Mover’ sub-woofers.

Frankly, I think I’d prefer the peace and quiet of a nice woodland glade, where I can lie in my Kinkara Botanica Restspa burial shroud^[2] with its delicate stripes, a posy of sweet peas over my heart, and the song of a nightingale to lull me to eternal rest.

Oh, darn, is that my phone ringing…..?

^{[1] “Bury me with my cell phone” MSNBC, December 16th 2008}

^{[2] “Kinkaraco Green Burial Products”}

Filed under: O death, where is thy ring?

Posted under Sparrow Chat

Some people can prove most irritating, even when you’ve never met them. Take, as an example, the boy who delivers the local papers. I’m talking the advertising rag here, not the proper local newspaper. I don’t subscribe to that. Well, there’s no point; I don’t have any hogs and I’m not a farmer growing corn, and if you’re neither of those the local newspaper is not for you.

The price of hogs and corn is the reason the local paper exists. Often, it’s the main headline. Corn is up, or, hogs are down; it’s what consistently stares back at you from the news stands six days a week. There’s no newspaper on Sunday. The staff are all in church.

That’s the other thing you’ll find in the local paper, besides commodity prices: a list of local churches and the times of their services; plus pages devoted to who’s born, married, or recently deceased. So you see, as I have no hogs, corn, or religion, and everyone in town’s a stranger to me, I have no need whatever of the local newspaper.

Muntadar al-Zeidi threw his shoes at George W Bush as a gesture of contempt for the US president. Al-Zeidi has now disappeared, imprisoned by the Iraqi government, and no-one knows where. Despite mass rallies in Baghdad and calls for his release from around the Arab world, to date the Iraqi government is remaining quiet about his whereabouts, and his welfare.

Immediately following the incident, George W Bush remarked, “this is what can happen in a free democracy.”

It can happen under any type of regime. It should be the consequences of such actions that are different in a free democracy. Throwing shoes at a visiting American president, even one responsible for invading your country and indirectly causing the deaths of your relatives, is not generally a wise move. Muntadar al-Zeidi is either very brave or rather foolish.

What, one wonders, would be the result of an American citizen throwing his shoes at George W Bush – say, on the White House lawn or in the Rose Garden? Assuming, that is, said citizen could ever get close enough. Undoubtedly, they would be wrestled to the floor, arrested, and carted away. One might hope that, after being duly charged, they would be released on bail pending a court appearance and the imposition of a slap on the wrist, a small fine, and suitable caution not to do anything so foolish again.

Of course, in America one can never be sure about such things. US presidents are considered almost divine – even the retarded variety, like George W Bush. A charge of treason or attempted murder, or something equally silly might be made to stick, incarcerating our citizen for the rest of his life.

What chance then, Muntadar al-Zeidi?

I suppose it’s in his favor he chose a US president rather than an Iraqi one. Perhaps, in Iraq, that may not be considered so serious. I guess it just depends how much pressure US officialdom can bring to bear on prime minister Maliki.

Or, given that’s it’s the season of goodwill and the outgoing US president will be pardoning all those Wall Street crooks and swindlers, and others from his administration presently languishing in jail for ‘doing their duty’, perhaps he could pardon al-Zeidi as well?

Mind, frankly, I wouldn’t want to be pardoned by scum like Bush, if I were in Muntadar al-Zeidi’s shoes; though it’s unlikely I ever would be, given that only yesterday they were whizzing perilously close past Bush’s nose.

I wonder how many human beings around the world would have willingly given up their Christmas break just for the sheer joy of seeing at least one of them land squarely on the presidential hooter?

There’s no God, yer know?

Free Muntadar al-Zeidi. He’s Sparrow Chat’s Christmas Hero of 2008.

Filed under: Free Muntadar al-Zeidi

Posted under Sparrow Chat

George W Bush, on an unannounced visit to Iraq today, finally received the ultimate insult when an Iraqi reporter threw his shoes at the US president during a press conference.

All that can be said of this incident is that it’s long overdue. The man in stockinged feet deserves a medal.

Filed under: Bush’s comeuppence

Posted under Sparrow Chat